CH 62

“Um… Can you please let go of me, Shinozuka-san?”

Shinozuka-san was tightly embracing me.

I gently grabbed her shoulder and pleaded in a strained voice.

But she just kept increasing our physical closeness and showed no signs of letting go.

“I don’t want to. I want to stay like this forever.”

“Well, Sakuramiya sensei is right there. You understand how bad this situation is, right?”

“Then, let’s move to a different location.”

“That’s not the problem!”

I raised my voice and scolded her. I glanced over at Sakuramiya-sensei to check on her.

But contrary to my expectations she was smiling as if she was watching something amusing. She’s the worst one here. I’m going to get killed later…

“Um, Sakuramiya-sensei… this is, uh, not my intention.”

“I understand. Please continue.”

A shiver ran down my spine when she said those words in a chilled tone.

Isn’t Sakuramiya-sensei like the leader of the incompetent group? I’m really scared of her now. My heart is pounding hard.

“It’s not too late to choose me, Minato. It’s true that Sakuramiya-sensei is beautiful and has a good figure, but that’s only for now. She’ll deteriorate soon. I’m better than a second-hand item.”

“…I’m not a second-hand item, and I won’t deteriorate. I’ll maintain my youth forever!”

“Minato, I’m a better choice than someone whose outer appearance and inner age don’t match even though she’s in her thirties. Don’t you think so?”

She looked straight into my eyes from a distance that took my breath away.

Perhaps, it’s true…

It’s not normal to date a female teacher in her thirties.

Moreover, there’s a cute girl who likes me right in front of me. If I widen my perspective, there are more girls around me. It’s not normal to choose Sakuramiya-sensei in this situation. Even I had those thoughts.

Originally, I had such thoughts.

There was a considerable distance between us, and there was also a difference in our positions as teacher and student. In society’s eyes, it was a relationship between a child and an adult. If I made a mistake, it could be considered a crime, and people around us would criticize us for it.

It wasn’t something we should have pursued, and I thought the very idea of it was heretical.

However, that was still the reason why I chose Sakuramiya-sensei.

I spoke as if confessing something that I had never told anyone before, something that I had hidden away from even myself without realizing it.

“…It was love at first sight.”

For a moment, silence fell in the room.

In shock, Shinozuka-san took a step back, and I continued with a faint smile.

“It really was love at first sight. Since I entered high school, the first time I saw Sakuramiya-sensei, I think I probably… liked her.”

“W-What…why are you telling me this now?”

Shinozuka-san muttered. It was something that I had kept hidden from everyone for so long.

It was understandable that she would think that way. While everyone else held their breath, I continued with a wry smile.

“Because I thought it could never come true. So, I sealed it away as just a momentary lapse. But it would peek out from time to time, so I kept telling myself that we were a student and a teacher. I had been suppressing my feelings since then.”

I think I probably mentioned Sakuramiya-sensei’s age and our positions as teacher and student countless times, to the point of being annoying. If I had just been honest with my feelings, I would have been conveniently using my fiancé’s role. So, I often used the strong shields of our age and positions to suppress those desires.

However, those shields were not omnipotent.

For example, when I made a public confession to Sakuramiya-sensei at the cultural festival, my emotions had become strangely involved. If it had been just a superficial confession, I’m sure Souji-san would not have looked pleased. Even then, there were emotions in that confession.

The same went for our dates.

Once I had accepted the role of my fiancé, I didn’t want to back out halfway through. I used that convenient excuse to date Sakuramiya-sensei. I realized it was a flimsy excuse, even for me. The truth was, I didn’t dislike dating Sakuramiya-sensei. So, armed with a suitable excuse, I went on several dates with her.

The day when Sakuramiya-sensei came to my house and ended up staying over.

Sakuramiya-sensei had climbed into my bed with surprising clumsiness. At that moment, I could have done something about it. I could have yelled or pushed her away forcefully. However, I didn’t take any action. After all, I couldn’t do that. I wasn’t strong enough to abandon the chance to sleep next to the person I loved.

When Sakuramiya-sensei confessed to me, I was genuinely happy… That’s why I thought we absolutely couldn’t let this relationship be exposed. If it did, we wouldn’t be able to be together anymore. That’s why I didn’t want it to be found out.

That’s also why we haven’t gone on any dates since we started dating. I didn’t want to add any more risk by being seen in public together. So I reduced the opportunities we had to interact outside of school and suggested that we should stop any unnecessary contact.

As a result, my guilt over deceiving Shinozuka-san has only grown day by day. But even so, I prioritized my own feelings.

I’m really the worst, aren’t I? I deserve to be called a scum.

Perhaps due to this guilt, I couldn’t refuse Shinozuka-san’s demands. Though it probably just sounds like an excuse.

Even though I didn’t want anyone to find out about Sakuramiya-sensei and me, I panicked when I realized I had given her the wrong impression and ended up confessing everything.

I really don’t know what to do… I’m so pathetic.

Feeling guilty, I met Shinozuka-san’s gaze.

“Sorry. For not telling you anything. I was being selfish and only thinking about myself.”

“…Love at first sight… That’s not fair… I can’t win. I can’t win against that. Don’t say things like that, Minato…”

“Shinozuka-san says I’m kind to her, but I’m not kind at all. I’m really sorry.”

“….Minato… you’re kind… When I was in trouble, you helped me. You’ve listened to me and given me advice many times… You’re definitely kind.”

As she cried, I couldn’t do anything for her. I shouldn’t do anything. But I have to be clear with her here and now.

“I love Sakuramiya-sensei. That’s why I can’t date you, Shinozuka-san.”

After telling her once again that I couldn’t respond to her feelings, her eyes widened in disbelief. She stood up, turned on her heel, and said just one thing before leaving.

“You’re really kind, Minato.”