CH 63

The living room fell into a heavy silence.

It was heavy… really heavy silence that didn’t even allow the sound of rustling clothes.

For the first time in my life, I rejected a confession.

It wasn’t something I did impulsively, but rather I prepared myself to hurt the other person when I rejected them.

I thought that only the person who was rejected would be hurt by the confession. But that wasn’t the case. It was really hard for me to say no to her when we were on good terms.

I learned that for the first time.

Shinozuka-san says that I’m kind, but I don’t feel that way.

It’s a pressure that I’ve never felt before, hitting me heavily in my chest. Because I knew her feelings, this weight resonates in my heart.

“By the way, I was thinking of going shopping. Alright, Shi-chan, let’s go to the supermarket now!”

“Yes, let’s go, Onee-chan! How many sweets can we get?”

“Only one. Mom will get angry if we waste money, you know.”

“I understand. Shiina is a good girl, so I’ll endure with one.”

“Good girl, good girl. Let’s go right away.”

In the heavy air filling the living room, Kaede was the first to break the silence.

She stood up from the sofa with a tone like she was acting which were further proved by the awkward expressions and gestures she was making. She took Shi-chan’s hand, and headed straight for the door.

As always, she was a very considerate cousin.

After Kaede and the others left, the heavy curtain of silence fell again.

Sakuramiya-sensei pulled up a chair and knelt down on the floor to meet my gaze.

“I’m sorry, Segawa-kun.”

“Why are you apologizing, Sensei?”

“I realized that I was burdening you too much.”

“You’re not a burden at all.”

“Lies. I was so caught up in my own excitement that I didn’t pay attention to those around me. You were worrying about me a lot, weren’t you? I’m supposed to be the adult here, but I’m not acting like one at all.”

With a bitter smile on her face, Sakuramiya-sensei confessed her sins.

Tilting her head, she stares intently into my eyes as if trying to peer into the depths of my soul.

“Is what you told Shinozuka-san earlier true?”

“…Yes, it is. I like you, Sakuramiya-sensei.”

“I see… that’s good to hear.”

“Huh?”

“Because Segawa-kun never tells me anything. I was starting to think he was only with me out of obligation or just teasing me because I’m older. I was thinking all sorts of pessimistic thoughts.”

“I see… I’m sorry that I made you feel that way about me.”

Come to think of it, I had never directly expressed my feelings of affection for Sakuramiya-sensei. We had joked around and I had said “I like you” in the course of conversation, but I had never truly revealed my feelings to her.

“I love you, Segawa-kun.”

“…Oh, I love you too, Sakuramiya-sensei.”

“Thank you. Because I love you so much, I get really… really anxious. There are so many girls around your age at school, so I feel really immature and jealous. That’s why I ended up trying to monopolize you like a child. I think that’s what shook Shinozuka-san’s feelings even more.”

“You don’t have to apologize…”

I hadn’t expressed my feelings enough. I hadn’t paid enough attention to Sakuramiya-sensei. I was only concerned with my surroundings and constantly trying to protect myself.

“Are you really okay with me, Segawa-kun?”

“…Huh?”

“I know it’s a bit late to be asking this, but I’m in my thirties… I’m a whole generation older than you. And we’re a teacher and student…there are a lot of problems. It’s not a normal relationship.”

“…Even if you ask me that, I don’t know.”

I muttered, lowering my gaze.

Sakuramiya-sensei forced a smile in desperation.

“Is that so… I see.”

“…..”

“Maybe it’s better for us to break up… I’ve taken away the normal romance that Segawa-kun should have had. I’ve been worried about that for a long time.”

She confesses slowly, looking up at the ceiling.

I didn’t know she had been carrying such thoughts in her heart.

“But I’m being selfish…I put my own feelings first… But it’s no good, this isn’t normal… maybe we should just break up…”

“Please don’t say such selfish things.”

Sakuramiya-sensei interrupts sharply.

I kept my head down and continued speaking, grinding my teeth.

“It may not be normal, but I don’t want anyone else but Sakuramiya-sensei to be my girlfriend.”

“Huh?”

“I can’t think of anyone else but you. It’s all your fault. Until now, I couldn’t imagine falling in love with someone older than me. But when I entered high school and met Sakuramiya-sensei, these unknown feelings sprouted within me… my senses have been in chaos since I met you. I kept telling myself it was just a momentary lapse, but when you entrusted me with the role of your fiancé, I couldn’t help but realize my feelings.”

Sakuramiya-sensei made a weird sound when she heard those words and looked uncomfortable. I then turned to her and asked a question.

“What about you, Sakuramiya-sensei? Is it okay for me to be your boyfriend?”

“Un… I’d prefer Segawa—, I mean… Minato-kun…”

“Then, it doesn’t matter that you’re in your early thirties or that we’re student and teacher or about ethics?”

“I thought so, but when someone points it out to me directly, I get worried…”

What Shinozuka-san said seems to have pierced Sakuramiya-sensei’s heart.

I took a deep breath and made up my mind. I didn’t have enough words or actions. That’s why I made Sakuramiya-sensei worry unnecessarily.

So, at least I should do what I can now.

“Sakuramiya-sensei… can I ask you to close your eyes?”

“Uh? Y-yeah.”

When I asked her, Sakuramiya-sensei immediately closed her eyes. I placed my hands on her shoulders and kissed her. It only lasted for a second, but even if it was only a second, it felt like the longest second I had ever experienced.

When Sakuramiya-sensei opened her eyes, she froze like a statue.

“I don’t know if it’s right for me and Sakuramiya-sensei to be together… but my girlfriend is Sakuramiya-sensei. I can’t do this with anyone else but the person I love,” I said.

“…” Sakuramiya-sensei was left utterly speechless.

“I won’t do anything to worry you again. So… please continue to be with me.”

“Y-yes… I-I will. Th-thank you,” Sakuramiya-sensei stuttered.

“You bit your tongue again, sensei…” I chuckled when I saw her clumsy reactions.

“Ugh… b-because…” Sakuramiya-sensei became teary-eyed and flustered. I remembered how she was the same way during our trip to the amusement park, and smiled.

I truly thought Sakuramiya-sensei was adorable when she acts this way.