Chapter 406: : Own good
After the meeting with his majesty, I asked Father if he could allow me to work in the Foundation today. I want to get my mind off with the current happenings in the monarchy. That's why I am trying to drown myself with work. However, it looks like my plan isn't working at all. I still couldn't help but think about what Prince Fraser told me earlier.
"Dame Csille, are you okay? You seem preoccupied? Why don't you take a rest first?"
I was startled when I heard Lilla's voice. I look up and find her standing in the doorway with a worried expression on her face. I was probably too preoccupied with my thoughts that I didn't even notice that someone had opened the door.
I smile at her reassuringly. "I'm okay. I'm sorry for making you worry, Lilla. I was just thinking about something." I frowned when I noticed Lilla's uneasiness. "Is there something wrong, Lilla?"
Lilla closes the door first and walks toward me before she answers my question. "Dame Csille, his highness is here to talk to you."
I frown. His highness? Don't tell me Prince Fraser is here to talk about my suggestions again? Is he here to convince me to change my decision? So his majesty would choose to comply with the Aeslaerean's demands.
I heave a sigh. "Tell Prince Fraser that I am busy and I don't have any spare time to give to him. Next time don't-"
I couldn't continue what I wanted to say because Lilla interrupted me. She shakes her head repeatedly. She even waves her hand as a sign of disagreement. "No, Dame Csille. It's not Prince Fraser. I'm sorry if I didn't mention the name. I was just too anxious when I saw him." I frown. If it's not Prince Fraser, then who is this his highness she is talking about?
"It's his highness, Prince Rufus. He said he wants to talk to you about something important. Should I let him in? I know you are avoiding Prince Rufus these days, so I told him I would check first if you have time. I can drive him away if you don't want to talk to him."
Rufus? What is he doing here? Will he scold me the same way Prince Fraser did? Also, doesn't he have enough for what I did and said to him the last time he visited me?
What does he want? I'm tired. I don't want to say those hurtful words to him again.
"Dame Csille?"
I looked at Lilla and heaved a sigh. If I decide based on what I feel, I won't hesitate to talk to him. However, things are different now. I need to distance myself from the royal family.
"Lilla, can you tell him I am busy. Also, if anyone from the Astalieu tries to talk to me again, tell them I am busy, and I don't have time to—"
I wasn't able to finish what I wanted to say because someone suddenly spoke. Lilla and I almost jump because of that voice.
"You are really cutting off our friendship just because your engagement with my cousin got canceled? Am I really nothing to you, Csille?"
I look up and find Rufus standing in the doorway. My heart breaks when I see the hurt expression on his face.
I have hurt him again.
He laughs sadly. "Csille, how can you throw away our friendship like that? Why do you need to do that? I am not Prince Fraser, so why does our relationship need to suffer too?"
I heave a sigh and look at Lilla, who is currently bowing her head as much as possible. She knows this conversation is not meant for her ears, but it will be rude of her not to greet Rufus first.
He immediately looked up at me when he heard what I said. I initially plan not to say anything and drive him off, but I couldn't stop myself.
"But why are you doing all of this, Csille? Is it because Prince Fraser breaks off your engagement with him? Is that the reading why you are distancing yourself even to me? But I am different than my cousin? Why does our relationship need to suffer for something I didn't
do?"
I shake my head. This is not about Prince Fraser. This is about your safety, Rufus. If people see that I am still friends with you, there is a big chance that you might get involved with Csille's future. And I cannot let that happen to him. That's why I need to cut off my friendship with him as early as possible.
"You don't understand, Rufus. I am no longer Prince Fraser's fiancée. That means I will never
be part of the royal family. It will be rude of me if I continue to address you the way I did before. So, I hope you can understand. I am only doing things that I should have done ever
since."
Rufus stares directly into my eyes. He is probably making sure it what I am saying is true or
not.
"But if that is the case, why are you avoiding me? Why don't you want to see me anymore?"
I smile sadly at him. "That is because things are different now, Rufus. I am no longer engaged with anyone. It will be an issue if I remain close to you. People don't mind if I am close with you before because they know that I am engaged with Prince Fraser. But everything changes when Prince Fraser breaks the engagement off. I cannot be close to you anymore, Rufus. I don't want anyone to say something bad to you or me. So, for everyone's safety. Let's just keep our distance from each other."
Even if my heart is saying no, I don't have a choice. I need to distance myself from him. I need to make it clear to him that remaining friends with him will only put the two of us in trouble.
So, he would stop coming here again and again.
"But, Csille..."
I shake my head at him. "I'm sorry, your highness, but I have already made my decision. Why don't you just spend your time pursuing the loved of your life? Wouldn't that be better?" Rufus stares at me for a couple of times before he laughs sadly. "I thought we would remain friends for all of our lives, but I guess I was wrong. It's all Prince Fraser's fault. If he only decided not to-"
I shake my head and interrupt his words. "Prince Rufus, let's not blame anyone here. Just like you, he just falls in love with a person. I was just unlucky because that person isn't me." I
smile sadly at him.
Rufus tried to touch my hand, but I immediately moved it away from him.
He then laughs, but it's not the happy kind of laugh. "So, that's it? We are going to end our friendship like that? Csille, we have been friends most of our lives. Why do you need to think about what will other people think about us?"
Why can't this Prince understand that I am doing this for his own good?
I heave a sigh and shake my head. "You don't understand, Prince Rufus. Unlike you, you have
a lot of choices when it comes to marriage, but not me. My failed engagement with Prince Fraser had a negative effect on my future marriage. I cannot be involved with any other issues again. So, if you still see me as your friend, you will distance yourself away from me. The question is, do you still see me as your friend?"