Chapter 407: : Stay

Chapter 407: : Stay



I look at the closed door of my office and heave a sigh. A few hours have passed already after the conversation I had with Rufus, yet here I am, still not over with what happened.

It's over. My friendship with Rufus has already ended. After today, we will treat each other as strangers.

This is what I want. To break my friendship with him, yet my heart couldn't stop complaining about my decision. It wants me to take it back. But my mind is telling me no.

I've been having an internal conflict for hours now, but I still haven't settled it. I slump my head on my table and groan.

Why does being a villainess so difficult? Why can't I just live like Princess Paislee do? All she had to think about was how to protect Prince Fraser, but here I am, facing problems every now and then.

"Why did I become the villainess? Why??" I mumble to myself. However, I was startled when a voice answered me.

"Maybe because of your mean personality."n/ô/vel/b//jn dot c//om

I immediately look up and find Brother Pascal walking toward me with a bag in his hand. "Brother? What are you doing here?"

He then raised his hand that was holding the bag and showed it to me. "Aunt ask me to bring this to you. She has prepared your favorite snacks. Lilla sent her a letter early this day saying that you couldn't focus at work. So, Aunt asks me to come here to give it to you and to check on you. And it seems like what Lilla said is true. You are really not in the right mind to work. You should have stayed in the house if you were like this. You are just making everyone worried about you." He then shakes his head. I don't know if it's because of disappointment or something else.

But if I stay in the house, I will just end up thinking about the conversation I had with Prince Fraser, added to the conversation I had with Rufus earlier. I don't think my mind could bear that.

I was startled when Brother put the bag down on the table. "Here, you should eat something first. I heard that his highness, Prince Rufus, visited you today. Is everything okay between the two of you?"

I look at Brother Pascal and frown. I thought he didn't care about me anymore?

He probably noticed my confusion. He shakes his head and takes a deep breath before he sits on the vacant seat in front of my table. "Don't look at me like that. I was only mad at you for what you are doing recently, but it doesn't mean that I don't care about you, Csille. Of course, I still care about you. Do you really think I will hate you forever?"

I looked at Brother Pascal, and a sudden thought appeared in my mind. A thought of him dying on the battlefield.

I feel my hand tremble, and my eyes moisten because of that. I don't understand why I think of that, but I know there is a big chance it will happen in the future.

"Brother, if the war comes, will you join the army? Will you fight for the Kingdom?"

Brother Pascal looks startled by my question. He frowns and just stares at me. "Why did you ask?"

I shake my head. "I just want to know."

He got silent for a moment. He was probably thinking things. "Of course, I will. Even if I am not the heir of the Lauretré family, I am still part of it. Haven't our ancestors pledged their life for the safety of the Kingdom? I would do the same. If a war would happen in the future, I will fight with Uncle."

I felt my energy get sucked out of my body when I heard what he said. I know more than anyone else that there is a big chance that he might end up losing his life in the war.

And if the Lauretré family loses him, it will be the end for the Lauretré. Csille will disassociate herself from the family while Brother Pascal will die. Who can continue the lineage of the Lauretré family if something happened to him?

I hold his hand that is resting on my table and hold it tightly. "Really, Brother? You would do

that?"

He just nods his head at me as a response. I give him a wide smile to show how happy I am with his decision.

Thank goodness, I thought I still needed to convince him for an hour or two. Now, that

Brother Pascal can stay in the capital. I can now be assured that nothing can happen to him.

I'm sorry, Brother. I lied. I am doing this because I don't want anything bad to happen to you. You are not supposed to exist in this world, and I'm sure if you join the army to fight against the Aeslaerean Kingdom, that will be the end of you.

After Brother Pascal visited me, I decided to take a break from working. My mind couldn't focus on my work, so it was useless for me to stay in the office.

So, I decided to take some breather at the riverside. It's a good thing no one was there when I arrived. I can have this place for myself which is good because this is what I need the most. A time for myself. A time to rethink about my choices in life as Csille Lauretré.

I look at the sky and close my eyes. I just want to feel the cold breeze gently touching my face.

As if it was comforting me with all the problems I have right now.

I smile bitterly at myself. How long can I endure staying here? How long can I endure taking

everything on my own?

I felt tears start to fall from my eyes, but I didn't bother wiping them off. No one is around, so I don't need to hide anymore.

I don't need to hide all my feelings I keep inside of me-the anxieties, nightmares, worries, problems, and everything. I feel so exhausted already.

I just want to go home. I just want to return to how I used to be-that poor author who

couldn't make a daily living with my works.

Even if my life isn't as glamorous as Csille's, at least I don't have to worry about these

problems.

Why am I the one chosen to be part of this? I don't want this anymore. Everything hurts, and I

don't know how long I can bear to continue hurting not just myself but the people around me

too.

"I'm really tired. I don't want this anymore. So, please take me back. I want to come back home," I mumbled to myself.