How could Xiao Zai's blood not run cold at those words?
He nodded stiffly in a vague promise to do as his dam asked. But the truth was that his mind was already conjuring several terrifying scenarios.
Nothing good could follow a request like that.
Xiao Zai wasn't blind about Gu Wei's nature -- he knew that he could be duplicitous and manipulative, although he had never been so towards Xiao Zai himself. If anything he always appreciated that Gu Wei didn't hide his true nature from him.
For the longest time Xiao Zai considered it a neutral part of his character. They were surrounded by so much horror because of Xiao An. The worst he had seen of Gu Wei seemed to always be a reaction to the injuries inflicted on him first.
But the tense way Chu Yun behaved around him had made him reconsider. For all that Chu Yun had sought Gu Wei's counsel often, he always did so with reservations. Xiao Zai sometimes got the impression that Chu Yun was always hearing his dam's words and translating them into something else in his mind -- perhaps in an effort to reach an approximation of truth.
Xiao Zai waited for his dam to speak almost choking on his own apprehension.
Gu Wei took a fortifying breath and straightened his shoulders, reminding Xiao Zai of all the times he had stood up to Xiao An even tough he must have been terrified. It made something sour coil on the pit of Xiao Zai's stomach that he would have to brace himself in the same way to talk with him now.
"I might have understated the extent of my friendship with your uncle. Xiao Yao and I weren't merely acquaintances, we were friends," he looked down at the swimming carps. "He was a close ally, and he helped me, especially after you were born, immensely."
Xiao Zai had no recollection of this, he imagined he must have been a really small child. When he tried to come up with an image of Xiao Yao all he saw was a diffuse shape.
"He struggled a lot with Xiao An too. In many ways Xiao An was jealous of him. Maybe because he was younger, maybe because he was well-liked, maybe just because he didn't know how to be any different," he shrugged. "But despite his own many problems, he always took time to look after me."
He admitted this with some shame. As if he hadn't done right by Xiao Yao's memory.
"Xiao Yao never had any interest in the throne, he was a scholar through and through, his only interest was in meeting new people and travelling as much as he could."
"Was he allowed to do that?"
"Xiao Yao's boundless optimism was his biggest quality, as well as his greatest flaw." Gu Wei turned to look out at the carps, folding his arms over the bridge's railing, his body twisted sideways on the wooden bench. "He thought it was only a matter of time until things improved."
Was that better or worse? That he had been hopeful until the bitter end.
"I tried to advise him as best as I could, but he thought the experience with your father had jaded me to love." His expression changed, and the melancholy was replaced with fury. "And then Ru Yi came to him with an idea of how they could be together."
Xiao Zai sucked in a shuddering breath. He had a bad feeling.
There was something his mind was purposefully trying to shield him from. Some information he was trying very hard not to access, for his own good.
"As you know, humans aren't like us, they have weaker constitutions, don't heal as fast and aren't as strong, and obviously can't shift into an animal form." Gu Wei said, as Xiao Zai nodded along.
Obviously he knew all this. And had no idea why his dam was prefacing whatever he was going to say next with such useless information.
"Well, some of them are...different. Innately talented, and if they train those innate talents they can develop martial arts skills on par with our own, and alchemical skills far beyond ours." His eyebrows knitted in confusion, as if to this day he couldn't understand it completely.
"Ru Yi explained it to Xiao Yao as the Gods' way of making it up to humans, for all the gifts they had given us and not them. A consolation prize, so to speak."
He paused. "These humans are called cultivators, and those with an affinity for alchemy are renowned for refining extraordinary pills. Pills that can bring a human back from the brink of death, largely increase their fighting skills, allow them to not sleep, drink or eat for days."
Xiao Zai didn't think he had seen Gu Wei look truly nervous until this moment. His long hair was pulled to the side, and Xiao Zai could see the drops of perspiration gathering on his nape, under his hairline.
"Unbeknown to Xiao Yao, Ru Yi had been searching for years for one of these extraordinary pills. One that was exceedingly rare and hard to refine, but if taken would allow a human male to get pregnant."
Xiao Zai's gasp was quiet compared to the magnitude of his feelings.
This was what his mind had been trying to shield him from. The obvious third option he had refused to consider. That Ru Long was Crown Prince because he was the King of Su's child -- as well as Xiao Yao's.