Chu Yun remained silent, watching Chu Hean's conflicted expression, and prepared to wait however long it took for Chu Hean to expand on what he had been reconsidering.
He chewed on his lower lip for some time, and was about to move on to his nails when Chu Yun batted his hand away from his face, unable to stop himself.
"Stop that. Do you want to have ragged nails?" he admonished, reminding himself of his own mother, and of how she used to reprehend both him and Chu Hean for biting their nails.
"You sound just like her," Chu Hean said, clearly reliving the same memories. But unlike Chu Yun's fondness at the similarities, Chu Hean frowned.
"Is that a bad thing?" Chu Yun asked, squaring his shoulders. He happened to hold his mother in high regard, and if Chu Hean thought he was going to feel insulted by being compared to an omega he had another thing coming.
His brother just sighed, tapping his unchewed nails listlessly against the stone table. "No, not really...," he sighed, "it's just that she was one 'mother' to you, and another to me."
"Did she mistreat you?" Chu Yun asked, feeling his own hackles raising. He had never seen his mother be anything but kind towards Chu Hean. And it wasn't as if he thought she was entitled to abuse him because she wasn't his mother, but she was never cruel to him or his mother -- at least not that Chu Yun had ever seen.
Chu Hean sighed in frustration. "No, it's not that, she didn't mistreat me. But everything she encouraged in you, she repressed in me."
Again, Chu Yun wracked his brain for an explanation but he couldn't come up with anything.
But instead of arguing, he remained silent and listened.
Chu Hean noticed his reaction and shot him a confused look, but Chu Yun quickly diverted his attention by asking, "but now you think differently?"Chu Hean made a sound of confusion and Chu Yun elaborated, "because of your newfound friendship with Min Sezhui?"
"Oh, yes, I-" he cleared his throat, "I think I have now realised my own selfishness."
Before Chu Yun could say anything Chu Hean pointed an accusing finger at him, "don't gloat."
Chu Yun raised both hands in surrender with a smile. "I wouldn't dream of it."
"Anyway, most of my discontent came from feeling I was just as capable, just as talented, as all the young alpha nobles of Lanzhou, and yet I wasn't given the same opportunities. I didn't really consider how much more 'delicate' the situation was for omegas who came from poverty."
Chu Yun was well acquainted with the abuses Min Sezhui endured, and would likely continue to endure if Xiao An hadn't died. He also knew, first-hand, what Gu Wei had done to survive the royal palace.
He didn't know how much of all that Chu Hean was aware of, but judging by his pained expression, Min Sezhui had confided in him plenty. Perhaps more than she had in Chu Yun even though they didn't know each other well -- he was an alpha, but both her and Chu Hean were omegas; that was its own kind of closeness.
"I don't think I was wrong to feel unfairly treated as an omega, but I think I was shortsighted. The injustices go much further than me, and the other sons and daughters of nobility."
Chu Yun met his brother's eyes and smiled. "On that, we agree."
The nervous tap of Chu Hean's fingers against the stone table was the only sound in the courtyard for some time, until the halting hum of his voice joined it, "I think I also owe you an apology."