CH 53

When she opened her eyes again, she was lying on the deck and being beaten on the back by goodwill. Salty water kept pouring out of her mouth.

“Breathe.”

Ian Kerner’s voice was heard. Even in the midst of everything, his tone was commanding, like a soldier. 

It was as if he was not going to let her go like this. 

If she had been in better shape, she would have been sarcastic, but she was not very well…

Above all, she had no idea what was happening. She couldn’t figure it out. Her body was panting like she was trying to breathe all the breath she had been deprived.

Good intentions slammed her back without mercy once more. She finally cried and vomited up all the water she swallowed.

“Do not lose your mind and breathe, Rosen.”

Water got in her ears, and she felt claustrophobic. It seemed like they were back on the ship, but people’s conversations sounded as if she was still underwater.

“Henry, bring a blanket. Move her to the cabin.”

“Ian Kerner! You- are you crazy now? Now people… ”

“If you don’t want to bet on who dies first like you did in military school, you’d better shut up and stay still, Gregory.”

Someone was arguing next to her. It was difficult to know who was speaking and responding. Everything sounded like a hum. 

Her consciousness faded again.

***

This time, she woke up buried in a duvet. It didn’t seem like much time had passed. The first thing she saw was Henry, who was weeping by her side. As soon as their eyes met, Henry sniffled, grabbed her face, and made a fuss.

“Walker, are you out of your mind? Are you breathing? Hot water, would you like some water?”

“What time is it now? Is it night?”

“It’s day. But does that matter? Drink. You fell into the winter sea and almost died. Now your body is like a corpse. It’s a block of ice!”

‘If I drink it and fall asleep, I won’t live.’

Rosen tried to comprehend the situation by groping through her fragmented memories. The beasts that saved her from drowning… And Ian Kerner. 

Was that also a dream? 

Even though she had vomited up all the salty water earlier, a cough plagued her endlessly. She barely asked aloud. Her throat was raw.

“Sir Kerner?”

Henry sighed and turned his head, gesturing with his chin. Ian was sitting in his desk chair, still wearing his military uniform. He looked so good that it was hard to believe that he had plunged into the winter sea.

Just as she convinced herself it was a dream, she noticed that the tips of Ian Kerner’s hair were still a little wet.

She wondered if really… Just in case, she looked at Henry and asked. Her lips trembled, but she tried to get her pronunciation as good as possible.

“What happened?”

But in the end, the words that came out of her mouth were distorted by her teeth chattering. Fortunately, Henry figured it out.

“Don’t ask. I don’t even know anymore. Drink some water, okay? You’re really going to die! Are you going to make the sacrifice of my superior, who jumped to the sea to rescue you, in vain?”

‘Oh my God.’ 

It wasn’t until Rosen heard Henry’s answer that she knew for sure. That what she saw in the waters wasn’t a dream. Henry put the glass of water to her mouth again. She shook her head resolutely and buried herself in the blanket.

She couldn’t believe it, but she was still alive. 

Whether Ian Kerner rescued her or the devil rejected her… 

However, drowning in the winter sea had consequences. It was still cold even though she was wrapped in a blanket.

Her head was fuzzy, and her bones were frozen. Her mind wandered, and she tried to move her body, but nothing listened to her instructions. She didn’t feel good.

She shouldn’t be sick. She survived in the water. She barely lived. She was almost there now. 

‘I have to get out of here…’

“Give me the medicine! The medicine that’ll make me feel better!”

“Hey! Drink some water first. Drink it!”

“Not water, just medicine!”

“I know you’re out of your mind because you nearly drowned, but drink hot water first! If you really want medicine, you can take some later!”

“I won’t drink! I’ll die on the island anyway. Who cares!”

Henry didn’t give up, grabbing her face and trying to pour warm water into her mouth forcefully, but Rosen resisted desperately. 

If she drank that water, she would fall asleep. 

Then it would be all over. 

Their quarrel continued for a long time.

Henry’s skin, which was lightly touching hers, felt like a ball of fire. Rosen realized that her condition was more serious than she thought. She was like a living ice cube. Her body was so cold that it was strange that all the blood in her body hadn’t frozen.

“D*mn it, it’s really cold… I think I’m going to die… ”

Without realizing it, she grabbed Henry’s arm. As his skin touched hers, it seemed to melt a little. Henry gave her a blank look.

“This is really crazy, Walker! Drink water first!”

“Henry Reville, get out.”

At that moment, Ian Kerner, who was sitting still like a stone statue, interrupted Henry’s words and got up. He slowly approached the bed where Rosen was sitting. He ordered again.

“Leave and take your time. Hang in there at any cost. If they send her back to prison in this state, she will die.”

“…What are you going to do?”

“Close the door and leave.”

Henry hesitated for a moment, then handed the glass over to Ian and left. Only Ian and Rosen were left in the cabin.

Rosen forcefully opened her eyes which were about to close and repeated. She shouldn’t be sick. She had to calm down. She was lucky once again, but she couldn’t stay shivering because of the cold. 

‘Grasp the situation, then do what I have to do as planned…’

But she also had to say something to Ian.

“You must be crazy. Jumping into the sea to save me? You could have died. No matter how much you… ”

“…”

“In front of everyone. What will people think?”

“Let me worry about myself.”

A vague answer returned. She knew it would change her impression of Ian Kerner. He was more impulsive than she thought. He was definitely a little out of his mind.

“I want to scold you properly, but I’m not in the mood for that. Anyway, you’re crazy, Ian Kerner.”

“…”

“You are crazy.”

He was staring at her. Nervous, she held onto the blanket.

He took the kettle Henry had left behind and poured more water into the glass, handing it to her.

“Drink.”

“I won’t drink.”

Rosen knocked the glass out of his hands. The water soaked her hands and spilt onto the floor. She thought he’d be angry. But he was not.

He looked at her intently, then grabbed her cheeks and asked again.

“Then answer me properly this time, Rosen.”

“…”

“Do you want to live?”

Rosen didn’t answer. She felt like he saw right through her. Silence filled the room. There was strength in his hands, and she couldn’t help but face him.

“Answer me. Do you want to live?”

Rosen thought desperately. 

‘What would be the best answer in this situation?’

She wracked her brain that didn’t work well.

His expression as he looked at her, his tone that became softer as time passed, and his reply that he would’ve killed Hindley…

She finally found the best answer.

“Are you an idiot? Come to think of it, how do you not know? I’m an escapee. If it’s not because I want to live… I never wanted to die, even for a moment.”

Rosen smiled bitterly. 

Ironically, the answer was no lie. 

He slowly opened his mouth.

“Then take off your clothes.”

“What?”

Rosen stared at his expressionless face and asked. It was because she doubted whether the words coming out of his mouth were correct. There was no way to gauge the meaning of those words. He unbuttoned his shirt and threw off his top.

“Take it off if you want to live.”

As Rosen froze in a daze, he climbed onto the bed, hugged her, and took off her prison scrubs. Belatedly, the sleeping powder she had hidden in her underwear came to mind, and she pushed him away, but fortunately, it was lost when she fell into the sea.

Her underwear fell under the bed. It was not until his skin touched her body that she realized the meaning of what he said. The places where their bare skin touched began to heat up.

The cold was gone.

Nothing compared. 

She clung to him instinctively, like a young beast on the verge of freezing to death. She rubbed her cheeks against his chest. He held her and stroked her without saying a word, and his gentle touch didn’t seem to have any other intentions.

She tried to fill her head with only one thought.

‘I should not fall sick.’

‘Never.’

‘Tonight is God’s last chance for me, when everyone is asleep.’

‘Come to your senses’

But the moment her body melted in the warmth, reality and delusions mixed. 

Once again, she fell into a sea of dark memories and lost her mind.

-How dare you?

The moment Hindley’s voice echoed in her head, she realized. 

That the memories that came to her this time were not a nightmare. 

The memories of the day that compelled her to come this far overwhelmed her…