Chapter 28 - Love Is Never Enough

Lance. 

What an ice breaker. 

Lorenzo Leaz will forever be known as the cockblocker. 

"We're fine," I call out before Ford loses his mind. I can see the terror in his eyes. He doesn't want to get caught. We were almost caught and to me, it is fucking exciting. 

"You were helping me with my clothes," I whisper to him. This is my way of telling him that this secret is safe with me. He has nothing to worry about. We kissed, yes but it doesn't mean I want to shout it out to the world. I need him to accept this first before I pressure him on anything else. 

He moves away from me and I walk out of the dressing room "So, I choose this one." 

I don't bother with the other clothes because I don't give a shit. I am not interested in this wedding and I am sure Lorenzo can make this look good "Oh, the perfect choice," he exclaims as Ford walks out of the dressing room. 

His cheeks are red, he is embarrassed and I love this look on him. Lorenzo doesn't notice anything. 

"Step on this, let me take your exact measurement," he points to the stepping stone. I climb on it as Ford goes back to the couch. He resumes on his phone and I am yet again staring at another mirror. 

Can this just end? 

************** 

I didn't agree for a dinner date with his family but he didn't make it seem like I have a say in it. It was more like an order. You're coming home with me cause my dad wants to have dinner with you. 

He is acting as nothing happened. 

Like he didn't just kiss the life out of me. 

I keep thinking about that kiss and he seems to want to forget about it. I can't just erase that beautiful memory from my head and I don't think he should too. It is stupid to think we can pretend. Hide the way we feel about each other. There is a pull that he is trying to deny and I don't want to do that. It is not good for my health. 

''Can we talk about what happened?'' I decide to bring it up because he wouldn't and I need him to acknowledge this. 

''Nothing happened,'' he shakes his head as he turns the steering wheel to the direction he is driving to. 

''You know that is not true. We need to talk about it,'' I am being persistent. This is the only way I know how to handle this. I will be the fighter of this relationship. I will be the glue that will hold us together. 

''What is the point?'' he sighs. 

I knew this was going to happen. What was I thinking? Did I think he would just accept me after one measly kiss? I mean I could dream but Ford is scared and he doesn't love me enough to fight. This thing between us is new, it is easy to walk away from. He is letting go of us before we can bloom. 

''We love each other,'' I remind him. 

He laughs ''Love is never enough.'' 

I furrow my brows ''Why not?'' 

Love should be enough but he doesn't think so. Why doesn't he think so? 

''Because our parents are getting married. They love each other too,'' he brings up the two people I want to forget. 

''We are not blood-related,'' I remind him. 

''It doesn't matter.'' 

''Yes, it does. We don't have to live together as brothers. I don't want to be your brother. I can tell my mother. We can find a way to make this work. I don't want to give up on us.'' the desperation is clear in my voice. 

''Does that even make sense to you.'' 

As usual, ford is being the rational one and somehow, I am the senseless one at this moment. I know it will be hard. I know we might not be accepted but we need to try. 

''Yes.'' 

He laughs ''My father will send me away. If I tell him about this, he will make sure we don't see each other. We will never see each other again. Will you prefer that?'' 

I remain quiet because there are no words that I can utter out of my mouth that will make him understand. He is living in fear and now I understand him. He doesn't want to lose me. He would rather have me by his side than not have me at all. 

"Why are you so scared of him?" that is the only question I can ask. 

He sighs but doesn't answer my question. I see the look on his face. There is more to this his fear. Something that he doesn't want to tell me. I can't push it out of him. He has to tell me on his own, will he ever want to tell me? 

He stops the car and I look straight ahead and realize that we are at his house. I don't know how long we were in the car but it seems like only seconds passed by. Now I have to go into this house and pretend that everything is okay. It is not so easy for me because I am so used to being honest and upfront about everything in my life. I don't know how to lie, I hate being or acting like someone I am not but now he expects me to just do this like it is nothing. 

"Come on," he gets down from the car, not even waiting for me. 

I watch him as he enters the house unsure of my next move. We kissed; it was a great kiss but now he wants me to forget it like it didn't happen...again. I am tired of trying to forget. I stay in the car deep in thought. I have to come up with a plan. Mom is getting married to John. There is no escaping that. That is inevitable. So there has to be a way to be with Ford. I can talk to my mother. She is considerate, sensible. I'm sure she will understand. If I talk to her, she will likely talk to john about it. That could make my relationship with him worse. 

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I reach for it to see a call from Patrick. We exchanged numbers after the last time and we have been communicating since. Jack seems to think he is suspicious. He just doesn't like the fact that I made a new friend. 

"Hello," I smile into the phone. 

"I'm at our spot and it seems a little lonely," he breathes into my ear. His voice is low and mesmerizing. 

"Our spot?" 

"Yeah, you know. The air is so nice today." 

I smile "I'm actually out right now." 

"Oh, with the person you're not supposed to be with?" 

I nod until I realize he can't see me "Yeah. How are you today?" 

"Is it weird that I keep thinking about you?" 

I blush because it almost sounds like he is flirting. "Kinda," I answer him honestly. 

He laughs "I was thinking, do you wanna hang out this weekend, Like a movie or something?" 

It's normal to hang out with friends. He is a friend, right? 

"Like a date?" 

He laughs and it is contagious because I end up chuckling with him "Not a date. I promise this is not a date. You're a cool guy and we get along pretty well. There's a new movie out and I was just looking for someone to see it with." he pauses and I wait for him to continue "There is nothing weird about this. I promise" he settles finally. 

I manage a smile because there is no harm in making a new friend. He seems lonely and I don't mind being the company he needs. After all, he has helped me a lot. 

"Sure. Text me the details." 

"Great. We can talk about today when we meet up if you want to." 

He is talking about me and Ford. We haven't gone into details with everything but he has been there for me and I don't mind sharing more with him. He is a new friend and he makes me feel better. I just have to get through tonight with his father. 

"Sure. I have to go now." 

"Okay," he ends the call and I look at the house again with steady breaths. I am still in his car because I am nervous. 

Slowly I get down from the car and walk into the house. Ford is waiting for me at the entrance. He is seated on a little chair by the corner of the front door. His hands are covering his face. He looks up slowly when he sees me and manages a smile. The smile is fake, it is fucking forced. I can read him so well and I know this is beating him up badly. 

I walk until I am in front of him and he watches me. Taking heavy breaths. I reach for his face and he doesn't try to push my hand away. His eyes are moist, he is fighting off tears. I don't want him to cry right now. I can't stand it. 

What do I do now?