1 Awakening

Ugh. My head. It feels like it's about to explode! Is this what a hangover feels like? If so I pity the poor bastards who get drunk out of their minds. Why? Because it's simply hellish! But I've got bigger problems to worry about. Where the hell am I and what the heck is going on? I can't see anything! Not even the slightest bit of light anywhere. Just darkness. Not middle of the night darkness but an unending sea of black.

I squinted my eyes trying to get a glimpse of even the faintest of outlines in my surroundings to no avail. For some reason, I can't see a damn thing. This isn't good. This really isn't good. Am I going blind? That couldn't be it, right? That better not be it! I still have a hell of a lot of things to see in the world! Hell, I haven't even properly looked at a proper sunset but now that the threat of blindness is looming on the horizon I want to see one before going blind!

Hold up and get ahold of yourself you dumbass. There has to be some logical explanation that's better than being blind. Like being kidnapped! Well, that's not exactly better but it's still an explanation. And therefore my point still stands! Just barely. Now let's see what I can feel out…

That's strange. Very strange. I can't feel my arms. Now that I think about it I also can't feel my legs. Haha. This is bad. Very bad. Why can't I feel my legs!? Help! I need help! Wait. I'm speaking but I don't hear my voice. I can't speak!? This situation is getting worse with every passing minute!

[INTEGRATION IN PROCESS]

The hells that mean? What integration!?

[INTEGRATION COMPLETE]

[BOOT UP COMMENCING]

Ok, this is getting a bit weird now! You're weirdness disembodied voice please stop talking gibberish!

[BOOT UP COMPLETE]

Just as I was about to continue my protests against this jibberish I noticed a change in the surroundings. I could see. I COULD SEE! In a very strange way at that. Now I could see that I was outside. Where exactly I couldn't tell since all I could see were splotches of colors thrown randomly around the place. A lot of green all around me. Some brown there. Sprinkles of brighter colors like red, and yellow.

All in all, a very disorientating sight to behold. But on the bright side, I can see again! Just in a very messed up way. Wait. Does this mean my eyes are damaged!? GAAAH! This can't be! My beloved 20/20 vision! How did this even happen!?

[ERRORS DETECTED BEGINNING RECALIBRATION]

This again? What the hell is this thing blabbering about?

[ERRORS RESOLVED]

Once these errors were resolved the colors in my vision slowly became clearer until I could make out general shapes.

…

Wonderful. I got upgraded to being able to see shapes instead of blobs color! I am sooo thankful! I'm practically bleeding pure grateful ichor right now! Haah... Well, since I can more or less see maybe I can finally see where I am?

Now that I was able to see again I decided it would be best to take a look around. But with a quick look around I discovered I was no longer in Kansas. No matter which direction I was looking at I saw only gargantuan trees and lush greenery. It looks just like it does in the pictures. I'm in the middle of a rainforest. A fucking rainforest! This wasn't supposed to be in my vacation plan.

But other than the absurd amount of plant life there wasn't much else to see. And as one would think there was absolutely no sign of civilization. This is bad. Very very bad. So bad that I can't overstate how bad it is. The rainforest is filled with things that want to kill me! What if I'm in an Australian rainforest!? Do they even have rainforests? Nevermind that. I just need to stay calm and find a way out of this green hell.

Huh. That's strange. I can't move my legs. Why can't I move my legs? It feels like they're stuck... I decided to take a look down to see if my legs were stuck in something. But instead of seeing my jean-clad legs, I saw a thin green line.

…

What should I even say to this? I mean really what should I even say? This isn't something that happens every day, and things that don't happen every day deserve a unique response. Ok. I'll just ask a question. It's a lot easier. WHERE THE ABSOLUTE GOD OF FUCKS ARE MY LEGS!?

Wait. My arms! Do I still have my arms!? I began looking at the areas where my arms would be only to see that there were no arms.

My.

Arms.

Are Fucking.

GONE!

How the hell does someone even handle something like that!? Wait. I looked at both sides at the same time. I shouldn't be able to do that. Can I? No, I can't! Wait a moment. Then why can I see the trees, grass, and sky at the same time? Oh god. I'VE GROWN EXTRA EYEBALLS!

[STATUS MENU OPENING]

Wha-

[Species: Carnivorous Flowerbud (Rainforest variant)

Level: 1

Name: Unknown

MP: 0

Skill points: 1

Trait points: 1]

The hell? A stat menu? How the hell am I even able to see it so clearly? It looks as if it's floating in the air in front of me, how strange... And while we're asking questions why the heck does it not have my name there!? That's just plain disrespectful!

I have a name just so you know! It's! Its… My name is… Why can't I remember my name? What's my name!? I can't remember my name! Calm down. Just- just calm down. I'm sure it'll come back to me! I just have to focus on the here and now. That and find my way to a town or something.

But back to this… stat menu. Maybe it's just a drug-induced hallucination or something but between that the strange disembodied voice, and the fact that my body isn't exactly what it used to be… Things are definitely strange. Lets just put it that way.

It seems that I'm a carnivorous rosebud of all things. Now I'd be inclined to disagree with this but my umm body says otherwise. So maybe there is an inkling of truth to whatever this menu is telling me. But with that said I've got no god damn idea what a carnivorous rosebud is! Am I supposed to run around and eat poor little bunnies!?

And then there are these points. Skills, and traits. All very reminiscent of an RPG. I'll need to figure out what I can do with those. Well enough thinking about this stat menu. I haven't gotten anything productive done just thinking about it anyways.

So... How the hell do I walk?