Liu Juan startled to see Mo Jiang on the same bed as hers.
Was she seeing him in a dream?
Perhaps, Yes. That was why her nightmares had stopped.
Liu Juan didn't dare to move as she feared that if she moved, then Mo Jiang would go away like the previous night.
She just continued to stare at him. Even though he was sleeping, her heart beats turned normal and she felt safe, secured, and relaxed under his presence. That was until Mo Jiang opened his eyes.
Liu Juan shook inwardly seeing his open eyes staring at her. Was he going to vanish again?
This was the first thought that came to her mind.
Fear was clearly seen in her eyes and the same thing happened to her.
Mo Jiang turned around to get up and then only she realized that it wasn't a dream.
"Jiang." She called out to him.
"You must be hungry. I will make breakfast. You go and freshen up." Mo Jiang said and left without giving any attention to her.
However, Liu Juan didn't do as he said, instead, she followed him outside. She feared that he would leave again without telling her and she would be surrounded by her nightmares again.
"Are you angry at me?" Liu Juan asked in a low voice as she stood beside him.
Mo Jiang didn't look at her and continued to wash vegetables as he replied, "What do you think?"
Liu Juan bit her lips. The situation became very awkward between them. If she had accepted him last night silently then perhaps, things would be different between them now.
"I am sorry." Liu Juan apologized.
"For what?" Mo Jiang asked back as he looked at her.
Even Liu Juan didn't know why she was apologizing to him. For marrying him and ruining their relationship or for rejecting him last night?
The things were good between them before their marriage. Now, Liu Juan wished she could go back and undo her decision to marry him. At least, they would continue to live a happy life that way.
Furthermore, now Mo Jiang was making things difficult for her. If he accepted her apology now, the awkward situation between them could have ended here but no.
"For nothing!" Liu Juan gritted her teeth in frustration and walked away to leave.
If he wanted to leave, just go. She had suffered many things alone for so many years, so she could suffer alone now too.
But then she heard his sarcastic comment. "Always want to run away."
"Then what do you want me to do? Tell me." Liu Juan's steps halted and she asked back angrily.
Her eyes turned red. She had never been emotionally unstable as she had always hidden them in the deep core of her heart.
She had always lived the life of a robot but then Mo Jiang made her live like a human. He treated her like a human to the point that she had lost her heart to him and now he was playing with her emotions.
Now, she didn't know how to control her unstable emotions which was becoming her weakness in front of him.
"Let me help you. Let's go to a therapist." Mo Jiang said.
Therapist?
Liu Juan's brows frowned and she immediately rejected it. "No."
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Going to a therapist meant that she had to open her wounds and show her weakness to a stranger. Moreover, she wasn't ready to face her demons now, not ever. And confronting herself was way harder than showing her vulnerabilities to a stranger.
She would never reveal her weakness in front of anyone. Even Mo Jiang had to put in many efforts to get information about her past, otherwise, no one would get the information about her past easily as she had killed every man who had violated her, and now he was telling her to go to a therapist to reveal her past on her own.
No!
Never!
Mo Jiang understood her worries, so he held onto her hands and calmly explained it to her. "Don't worry, she is my friend. She wouldn't reveal anything to anyone. You can trust her."
"No!" Liu Juan retreated her hands back.
"Then do whatever you want to do! But let me remind you, that you are making me suffer with you!"
"Then let's get a divorce!" Liu Juan snapped in anger.
"Liu Juan!" Mo Jiang roared hearing her words. "Marriage is not a joke."
"So is my past." Liu Juan said and her eyes gleamed with tears.
It wasn't that she hadn't thought of going to a therapist before but she was not willing to take a risk. Once she opened her old wound, it would hurt her a lot and there was no guarantee that she would be able to overcome her past. What if the treatment went unsuccessful and would affect her current life so badly that whatever confidence she had would be gone; that she would never have the courage to stand up again?
"That's why I want to help you." Mo Jiang tried to control his anger and convince her.
"I can't." Liu Juan shook her head and stepped back. Her past was that black dark scar that she neither exposed to the world nor did she dare to treat it. It was a rotting wound hidden in the darkness, silently shaving away at her heart while spreading its poison all over her soul.
"Fine. I won't force you but remember, you are my wife, Liu Juan. I will never hurt you, never. At least, trust me. Rest is up to you." Mo Jiang said and went back to make breakfast.
Therefore, the discussion between the couple ended on a bad note.
"Ding…Ding…"
Mo Jiang was driving the car when his phone rang.
"Hello?" Mo Jiang answered the call.
"Where are you? I am waiting for you." A sweet voice came from the other side.
"She has rejected the idea of therapy." Mo Jiang replied.
"Hmmm…I told you. People don't look at therapists in a good way." The girl said.
"Okay, let's wait. We can't force her. Once she is ready, I will bring her to you."
"Alright. By the way, you can even tell me about her situation. I can help her indirectly. Why don't we meet up for dinner?" The girl asked in expectation.
"I am busy, I can't come and I prefer Juan to be the one to tell you everything about her. Also, I hope you remember, not a word goes out about her. Otherwise…" Mo Jiang said in a warning tone.
"I know…I know. Don't worry, this is my business and I don't let patients down and you are the special one. No one will know that she came to me. Besides, I love my life."
"Good that you know." Mo Jiang said and hung up.
***
After that, things in Liu Juan and Mo Jiang's life went back to normal just like how they lived before their marriage.
Mo Jiang neither forced her to stay in his room nor did he talk about going to a therapist.
However, Liu Juan's nightmares didn't leave.
She was having many sleepless nights and in the end, she didn't want to take it anymore. So, she asked Mo Jiang to sleep with her in her room.
"No." And Mo Jiang rejected her request.