Chapter 73 - Two Lives

Yul helplessly slumped on the floor. His tears were flowing but he didn't make any sound. Zeng's head was lowered. He couldn't see Yul like this. This was what he wanted to get away from.

"We have been together for five years, Zeng ge. Does that not mean anything to you?" Yul asked, his voice trembling with every word and becoming smaller.

"It means everything to me," Zeng replied, "Those were the best years of life. But the honeymoon phase is over, Yul. Life is not all roses and sunshine. Reality sucks. No matter how badly we want it, we can't live in our dreamland. We were madly in love in the beginning but the new excitement and anticipation faded away after a time," he was lying but he didn't care, "It has become unbearable. Now all I am left with is despair and it's breaking me every second. Things have changed, Yul. You have to accept it."

"It didn't change for me," Yul said blankly, "It never did."

Zeng couldn't find words to counter him as Yul continued, "You were my world and you still are. I loved you and I still do. Nothing has changed for me."

"We have been through this a hundred times, Yul. Our love is not enough to hold our relationship together. If this doesn't end now, the cycle will go on. We both will be more miserable than before. So please, end this now than later."

Yul didn't speak for what felt like an eternity and Zeng gave him his time. The officer looked up to meet Zeng's eyes.

"Do you really want it, Zeng ge?" Yul searched for any hope in those doe eyes but they were blank by now. Zeng had really meant it when he said he wanted to let go. Xiao Zeng was stubborn. Yul knew that the decision was final. There was no changing it.

"Yes, this is what I want. I don't want to be the shackles that bound you from doing what you desire. If we stop here, you can go back to your job without any restraint and I to mine without any remorse. You will be free and so will I." Zeng looked out of the window to the infinite horizon ahead that held endless possibilities. "We both have our careers ahead of us. This is something we wanted to do since our childhood. We should keep going on. I admit I had been in the wrong to ask for something like this from you. No one should be forced to stay away from what they desire. It's bigger than our relationship. You know how important our careers are to us."

Yul wanted to reject, wanted to behave like he didn't hear what his beloved had said just now. He wanted to pretend as if all this never happened.

Zeng crouched down beside him. He reached out hesitantly to touch his shoulders. "You have always listened to me, agreed to whatever I said. Do it for the last time, Yul. Agree to it and make us both free."

A tear escaped from Yul's eye and rolled down his cheek. His heart refused to agree but the same heart had made a promise to always keep Zeng happy. That part of his heart would sacrifice anything and everything for love, even their relationship.

"If that's what you want," Yul nodded, agreeing with the decision that he knew would scar him the most, "Alright. You win." He wanted to say it sarcastically but couldn't bring himself to. His throat felt dry and his voice didn't will to escape it anymore.

Zeng hugged him, "I am sorry but this is the best for us both. I am sorry Yul. I am so sorry. I know it will be hard but we are better off each other. We have to move on."

Yul didn't hug him back. He was nothing more than a soulless body by now. Zeng kept soothing Yul as well as himself that everything will be fine after they move on. Eventually, the doctor left for packing his things.

Both of them didn't say a word nor did they shed tears anymore. Silence filled their home... which by now had become only Yul's house.

He had already packed his clothes. All he needed to do was get his things. Now that he realised, he had very little to call his own. Everything had been brought by them together. If not, they were Yul's things. From the furniture to the photos hung up on the wall, they were shared by them both. They belonged to Yul now after all it was his house. Zeng didn't see the need for them. Yul could do whatever he wanted with the stuff. Zeng was a practical man. He believed some things were better if left. Though his stupid heart begged to differ his mind knew well when to stop.

Zeng was now removing his medals and certificates from the showcase. "I saw the news earlier. They said you will be receiving another medal for cracking this criminal circle. Congratulations." He placed his last framed certificate gently inside the bag. "You have more space to keep your medals from now on," Zeng said looking at the half-empty showcase. It felt weird seeing it like this, only Yul's things and none of his.

"Do you think it's all about medals for me?" Yul asked in a quiet voice without looking up. "Being a hero, do you think I only do this for gratification?"

"I never considered that," Zeng rejected the accusation right away, "You are not a shallow person, Yul. You are devoted to your job. I know what it means to you," Zeng said, stepping towards Yul. Leaning his head, he dropped a soft peck on the cheek on the slightly shorter man who would otherwise have blushed to the tips of his eyes but now stayed still.

Yul even now had his head hung low but his breathing had sharpened thinking that this would be the last time he could feel the warmth of the person before him.

Zeng stepped away. He took out a key from his pocket and placed it on the table Yul was leaning on.

"Please call mom... I mean your mom," Zeng corrected himself, "Until you get better, let her be with you. She will help you with the chores." He had packed everything by now. There was no more reason to be here. He stepped back and started walking away from his ex-boyfriend.

Zeng turned back again, "And remember to eat on time."

Nobody knew if Yul heard anything or not. He had been leaning on the side table, his head hung low the entire time. His body felt too heavy to respond to anything.

"Thank you for everything, Wang Yul... goodbye."

The door shut close after the words and just like that, two lives were separated.

Yul ran to the door and stood before it, his breathing ragged. He waited and waited and waited.

Nothing happened. Zeng ge wasn't coming back.

He fell on his knees; his heart shattered to a million pieces. As the realisation hit him that the other person would never walk from that door again, he screamed in agony. He kept screaming till his throat hurt as tears came flooding from the eyes that hardly ever cried. Even when his screams subsided, he kept sobbing but the pain won't go away.

'What wrong did I ever do? Why did it come to this, Zeng ge?'