Chapter 198: Caring

Chapter 198: Caring

As Im looking for more books on magic and anatomy, I hear footsteps.

Your smell is unbearable, Levener says to my mind.

Thank you, buddy. I hope you choke on it. Or better, I hope you get sinusitis Id be curious to see how you would manage all that, I say, pointing at my own mouth as a reference.

We dont get along much, to be honest. He idolizes Princess Valarith, and I dont give a damn about either of them. My disrespect has started irking him. Also, hes still angry about me trying to fry him in our duel.

Your mental defenses are still mediocre, he says.

Havent had much time to practice them. Unlike you, Im not spending my days fantasizing about I catch my tongue before starting a fight. Do you have something to tell me? Im looking up some stuff about curses like [Rottenbone]. Im trying to understand if relapse is a possibility or if Claudias strong constitution will be enough to prevent the disease from resurfacing in the future. I mean, if it goes away from her head, we should be in the clear. But who knows?

I want to show you something, the big, buff man says.

Pass.

He stares me dead in the eye.

I want to tell you about Princess Valariths great battle against Mauser.

Pass.

I start walking away when a powerful aura engulfs the library.

Dude, Im hopped on way too much caffeine to have a rational response to this, ok? So, before I go all straight-outta-Compton on you, back off.

She shakes her head.

He wouldnt have.

I could ask how she knows, but Id rather leave a part of me believing that Stan would have done something.

Levener is young. Accepting his defective traits is part of the maturation process of two people.

Sometimes, her speech becomes hard to parse. What shes saying is that if we both want to grow out of our teenage phase, we better start trying to understand each other.

Ok. Ill try, I say.

Immediately, Princess Valarith turns and walks away.

Wait!

Yes? she turns to me.

I sigh and pass my hands over my face, giving it a good rub. This gesture has now become a tic of mine.

Listen, Valarith. I dont know how to say this, okay? Im tired. I wish someone would fucking shoot me in the head so I could sleep for three days before coming back to life. Im not sure Im completely sane at the moment, ok? The lack of natural light here, plus the shit Im going through with Claudia the literal shit is starting to get to me. Ive been here for barely a fraction of what you have. And Im going crazy. How are you still subjecting yourself to this torture? Why dont you go back? Why are you not on Kome, for Christs sake? Lord Juler says you have great reasons, but he cant specify, can he now? And you just asked me to treat Levener better, but you dont mention how I should treat you better. I dont know what the Vanedenis make of mental health and look, Im definitely not completely well myself. But you, girlyou need a vacation. Please, start looking after yourself.

Im panting slightly after having regurgitated so many words at once. Valarith is looking at me with her typical lifeless expression. Theres nothing of the pride that she showed in the arena. Theres an idea of her people in heror better, shes a reincarnation of an idea. Or just an incarnation. But what matters is that a person cant be an idea. Not unless they want to become sick, to get terminally ill. We cant just shoulder the kind of weight that this person chose for herself.

Please, just drop the Ill die to remit your sins vibe, Valarith. I dont know what you liked to do before this, but please, look after yourself.

She looks at me and smiles. Then, she turns again, as if she had never looked back, and just walks away.