CH 20

We loitered on Ki-do’s sofa until 5:20 and then I hurriedly began getting ready. That bastard Seol Ki-do didn’t help either. He said he’d bring out a suit, but the clothes he had looked more like trot stage costumes. My mind is rushing. It feels like Director Lee is going to knock on the front door at any moment.

“Hyung, he can’t come up if he doesn’t know the apartment number.”

Ki-do’s right.

But I still take a quick shower and change into my clothes. While Seol Ki-do is drying my hair with a hairdryer, I put on the shirt. The clothing is a little big.

“Ki-do, you must be wearing bigger clothes than me.”

“I am bigger than you, hyung.”

Seol Ki-do brushes my hair. I got up to put on my pants. Ki-do dragged my hips back.

“What are you doing?”

“My conscience…”

“Why are you looking for a conscience?”

I keep stepping on the bottoms of the pants. It’s not painful, but it’s unpleasant. This is how I felt in middle school when I first wore school uniform pants. They said middle school students grow up quickly, so the length of their trousers is longer. I didn’t grow very much in middle school, so I had to roll up my pants every day. My height grew in high school.

I put on the jacket Ki-do gave me while he put a tie around my neck. It’s a nice blue color. Last night’s blue atmosphere came back to me. Our gazes locked. Ki-do smiles broadly and ties my tie.

Ki-do’s face is directly in front of me. My throat is tight, and I’m out of breath. I took a deep breath in and exhaled quickly. I smell like Ki-do’s house. The fragrance of fabric softener, the coffee brewed earlier, and Ki-do’s shampoo.

“I smell like your house.”

Ki-do frowned.

“Don’t go out and say that.”

“You think I’m crazy? Why would I go outside and say, ‘Hello, I smell like Seol Ki-do’s house.’”

Ki-do pulled the tie tighter. I was being strangled.

“If I tell you not to do it, don’t do it.”

“Okay.”

After I got dressed, Ki-do and I went out together. It was already six o’clock. According to our arrangement, Director Lee said that he would be waiting out front. My phone was quiet. Oh, right. Director Lee doesn’t even know my number.

“Hyung, I’ll check the mail and leave after you.”

He may already be waiting. I got off the elevator and ran right away. The cold air brushes against my cheeks. A familiar sedan appeared. It’s Director Lee.

“You’re here.”

“Forgive me for being late.”

“It isn’t too late. Nonetheless, I came close to being arrested. The apartment security was scolding me for staying too long.”

Director Lee laughed. My head seemed to be empty. Last night’s worries didn’t seem to matter much right now. It didn’t matter what I wanted to say. It was nice to see him. It felt like we met for the first time in a long time.

“Actually…”

“Hyung, isn’t the underwear you’re wearing right now uncomfortable? I bought a new one.”

Director Lee shifted his gaze from me. And looked at me again. The street lights around the apartment flickered. There’s a backlight on Director Lee’s face.

“I’ll wash what you took off today… Hello.”

Ki-do, who was flapping a paper bag, met Director Lee’s eyes.

Director Lee approached Ki-do, who held out his hand. Apparently, Ki-do thinks it’s ok to shake hands while holding a paper bag by his side.

“I’m Seol Ki-do.”

“Lee Si-hyun.”

Director Lee handed a business card to Ki-do. Ki-do shrugged his shoulders and then shook Director Lee’s hand strongly.

“I don’t have a business card… About Joo-hyuk hyung, please take good care of him.”

“No, I should be the one to thank you for looking after him.”

“Have a safe trip.”

“You must be a very close friend.”

Ki-do caught my gaze. Why are you looking here? I saw Ki-do roll his eyes. I don’t know what you’re thinking. Why were you talking about underwear? Whether or not he knew the injustice he caused me, Ki-do lowered his eyes.

“We’re just friends.”

“Oh.”

Director Lee answers briefly.

Ki-do had a peculiar look in his eye. Director Lee smiles cheerfully.

“I think we’ll see each other more often in the future.”

“I’m not sure. I’m afraid I’ll get in the way of Joo-hyuk’s work.”

The two kept shaking hands as they talked. Ki-do then frowned.

“You have a strong grip.”

Director Lee said with a smile. Ki-do pulled his hand away first.

Ki-do licked his lips, then looked at me and grinned. I mouthed ‘why’, but there was no answer. He raised the corners of his mouth and just smiled.

Director Lee, who came closer, opened the front passenger door.

“Come in, Joo-hyuk-ssi.”

“Hyung. I will do the laundry.”

Ki-do waved and disappeared. Director Lee is standing still.

“Get in. Let’s go.”

“Yeah.”

I quietly got into the car. I’m nervous. Seol Ki-do is insane. Why are you talking about underwear outside? He is crazy.

Am I really wearing Ki-do underwear? I barely looked at what Ki-do had brought out. I thought he gave me mine out of consideration. I’m suddenly very concerned. The annoying thing is, I really like what I am wearing. In particular, the band is very comfortable. I’m angry, but I’ll have to ask for the brand later.

Director Lee got into the car. He fastened his seat belt and looked at me. His eyes narrowed.

“That’s a suit I’ve never seen before.”

“Ki-do… These are my friend’s clothes.”

“Oh? The Alpha from before?”

“Yes.”

I’m not sure how he knows that. Alphas and Omegas must have some kind of sensor.  Director Lee drives out of the apartment complex. It’s quiet. I can only hear a hum as the car moves. I put my two hands together politely.

“Why are you wearing your friend’s underwear?”

“What?”

“No, I shouldn’t ask you that.”

Director Lee’s face is tense. It’s not his usual expression like when he stares at me. I’d like to think it’s because he’s preoccupied with driving. Obviously not. It’s most likely due to Ki-do. My heart is racing. I just want to make an excuse. For example…

I had nothing to say.

“Let me ask something else. I’m going to just ask this and then leave Joo-hyuk-ssi alone.”

“Yes.”

“What do you mean by not dating?”

“…”

The car comes to a sudden stop. Director Lee sat back against the backrest, his palm lightly on the steering wheel.

“I don’t mean to question you. As I’m no one to you.”

Director Lee smiles. I’m completely speechless. It’s time to speak up. I’m at a loss for words. I don’t think he wants to know everything about my philosophy or life.

I think he is jealous. He must be jealous. I became numb. I pressed my forehead with my fingertips. He looks jealous. I guess he is jealous because of the underwear? The underwear is really comfortable. He might misunderstand. I mean, because of the underwear, between Ki-do and me. Between Ki-do and me? We’re just friends.

He looks jealous.

“Ki-do is my friend.”

“Have you been together all day today?”

I think he is jealous.

“He also has a girlfriend.”

“Oh, really?”

“An Omega girlfriend. He is an Alpha.”

“I’m an Alpha as well.”

Director Lee smiled.

“I’m an Alpha who likes a Beta. Is it really so unbelievable?”

Ki-do’s words came to mind. Ki-do said I may live my life according to my heart. The same may be said regarding Director Lee. ‘You just have to live the way you want.’ That’s not something I can say. I can’t just ask him to like me. ‘You can like me now,’ as if I were doing him a big favor, but I couldn’t say it.

Why?

He looks jealous.

“Are you jealous?”

My mouth just spits out the words. I pressed my lips together. I made a mistake. I look at Director Lee. Director Lee’s expression remains the same.

“Yeah. I’m jealous.”

I have nothing in response to that. Several scenarios raced through my mind. It’s okay to be jealous in life. This is wrong. Why are you jealous? You’re acting this way because you’re jealous? This is also denial.

After thinking for a while, Director Lee speaks in a soft voice.

“If you need clothes, I can buy them for you at a store.”

The car makes a smooth right turn. My body leans towards the window. My head hit the window. It’s cold.

“Don’t wear other people’s clothes in the future.”

I looked out the window and answered.

“Save your money.”

Director Lee laughs. I’m just saying whatever I want.

Meanwhile, I’m quite worried about my underwear. It’s like casually blinking your eyes, and when you pay attention, you become too conscious. Even though I tried not to think about the underwear, I couldn’t stop myself. My head is spinning.

Seol Ki-do’s smile comes to mind. I think of punching him.