CH 21

The party didn’t really matter. I’m nothing more than a shadow. A shadow that follows Director Lee. I was a few steps away when I noticed a band playing loud music in the distance.

I looked at the band thoroughly, but it did not appear to be an idol group. The ages of the members differed significantly. If they were idols, then I’m a middle school student.

Director Lee said that he will eat after a quick talk and busily walked around to talk to various people. This boredom would have been unacceptable if not accompanied by delicious food.

Someone approached me while I stood blankly in a corner. He’s a middle-aged man. His gray hair, nicely pushed back, is a salt and pepper color.

“You are the guest that Lee Si-hyun brought!”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Kim Joo-hyuk, Assistant Manager of Hanmaeum Education Consulting.”

“I am the Director of Dongwoo Foods, Ha Kwang-hwan. Nice to meet you!”

Director Ha takes my hand in his and shakes it strongly. It’s a handshake straight out of a black-and-white cartoon. My shoulders ached. It’s very powerful.

“Director Ha!”

“Si-hyun-ah!”

Director Ha even takes Director Lee’s hand in his. Director Lee’s shoulder is also thoroughly shaken. Director Ha laughed as he grabbed Director Lee’s and my hands.

“Oh, now you’ve got a companion. I always knew one day our managing director would bring someone.”

I’m not sure what he meant by bringing someone. Director Ha’s expression when he looked at me seemed like he was implying something. I cast a glance over at Director Lee. Director Lee laughed as if embarrassed.

“He’s good at controlling his pheromones and he’s tall!”

Director Ha then asks cautiously.

“Alpha? Or maybe Omega?”

“Beta.”

Director Ha’s grip on my hand loosens. His small brows rise effortlessly upwards.

“Beta?”

His round eyes meet Director Lee. I removed my hand awkwardly and looked at Director Lee. The opposite hand of Director Lee overlapped with the hand of Director Ha.

“It’s not like that. He’s an employee of our company. We’re close friends.”

I carefully considered that saying we are close was a lie. We still have a vague relationship. Not a friend, not even dating. I wanted to refute it, but I shut my lips tight. I’m doing well.

“Is that so… You are an employee? A Beta?”

Director Ha touched his lips as if in disbelief. Director Ha’s forehead wrinkled in three layers. Director Lee continued to pat Director Ha’s hand. I just smiled as I still had nothing to say.

“Please, don’t be offended. Oddly enough, there’s something attractive about you. You’re a really handsome fellow. You get along really well with Si-hyun… Did you say you’re Kim Ji-hyuk?”

“I’m Kim Joo-hyuk.”

“Oh, I thought you were an Alpha when I first saw you. So I assumed Si-hyun had brought a friend. But, looking at your face again, you look like an Omega, but also an Alpha, so I’m confused! I know the features of Alphas and Omegas very well. This doesn’t happen very often. I worked in the HR team for 30 years. Do you remember where I first worked, Si-hyun? In Cheongju…”

Director Ha started talking about something else at some point. Director Lee nods earnestly. So begins the social life.

The band starts playing slow music. I force myself to hold back a yawn. Director Ha’s story now enters the period when his first child was born.

“So Ha Won was born as an Omega and the family was turned upside down. Si-hyun do you remember? Was Si-hyun an elementary student or a middle school student back then? …It’s fine that he is an Omega, but it made my heart drop because he was so excited about doing jujitsu. He broke a bone once before. When he was making a fuss about going to the championship, he packed a lunch box on his own and I tried to stop him, but my wife told me to leave him alone and he almost hurt himself. Now he has to get married too, but he has high standards and is stubborn… If you were an Alpha, it would’ve been nice if I could’ve introduced him to Kim Joon-hyuk, but you are a Beta.”

When I heard the story, it seemed that he was Ha Won’s father. It’s an unexpected family gathering. Director Ha patted me on the back.

“If you are a Beta, then are you Si-hyun’s subordinate? Take a seat right now! Unlike the Omegas, Betas are all very steady. Kim Joon-hyuk also seems to be a very sincere person.”

“Thank you.”

“Ok. Yes, it’s cool and nice. You said you are a Beta? I thought you were an Alpha, but it’s really too bad. It would have been great if you were an Alpha. When I was in Busan…”

Director Ha took my hand and walked to the table. I looked at Director Lee, but Director Lee smiled helplessly. It was clear that he couldn’t help. Director Lee followed us. I sat with Director Lee on the left and Director Ha on the right. Director Ha is still holding my hand and talking.

Director Ha seemed to be planning to inform me of his entire life. There’s also the shih tzu story that Director Ha has been talking about for a long time. It appears to have died last year. He said it lived for 21 years. It is an older dog than Kim Joo-young. Director Ha went on and on about how smart the shih tzu was.

“It understood the commands to sit and lie down. Do you know what it would do when it was happy? It would give me a high five. That is not easy. Have you ever raised a shih tzu? Shih Tzus are known to be lazy. However, our little one…”

The corner of my mouth muscle kept taking a break, but it appeared that my brain refused to do so. Lift it more! More! Do you think I’ll let you take a break? My cheeks have gone numb. I glanced at Director Lee as I begged for help. Director Ha held my hand more tightly.

“Isn’t Director Si-hyun handsome? Sometimes Betas are good too. I was taken aback. Don’t get me wrong about those Beta people. Betas marry other Betas. I’m an Alpha. I went to a high school in Bucheon for a meeting and met my wife, who is an Omega, that’s right, an Omega…”

All of the lights in the hall suddenly turned off, but Director Ha continued the conversation without hesitation. He was telling how he proposed to his wife at first sight after meeting her at a high school meeting. I could sense his affection for his wife. Director Ha has a refreshing personality.

“Alphas should marry Omegas. What about Betas? There is no way with a Beta. There could be, but this has not been the case. You know what I’m saying, right? I hope Si-hyun meets a good Omega. Where’s the good Omega? Si-hyun never brings any Omegas…”

“Uncle, stop it. What are you saying to our employee?”

Director Lee finally spoke up. Director Ha patted me on the back again.

“Right. Kim Joon-hyuk is like a son. Won is the same age as Joon-hyuk. It would’ve been great if you were an Alpha.”

I smiled awkwardly. I’m not Kim Joon-hyuk. Director Lee sighed. His eyes looked tired. I could see why Director Lee didn’t want to come alone. Come to think of it, I didn’t see Ha Won. I put my mouth to Director Lee’s ear.

“Director, is Ha Won not here?”

Director Lee whispered back.

“Won hates this kind of place.”

Director Lee didn’t seem to like this place either.

Director Ha got up from his seat with a bright smile as if he had found someone. I feel relieved. Director Lee looked at me and smiled. I also smiled at him.

It seemed like something was about to start. A man comes up on stage. He must be the host. He was busy talking with the other staff members, raising and lowering the microphone. Director Lee tapped the table.

“Joo-hyuk, there is an important reason why I brought you here.”

Director Lee says in a low voice.

“The food here is really good.”

“Oh.”

I guess that is a soulless response. Director Lee has a deep dimple. I want to press his dimples. But I can’t.

The hotel employees, dressed in matching black vests, began delivering food. A dish the size of a thumb is placed on a palm-sized plate. Something is on top of the yellow sauce. There’s also something that looks to be bacon or ham with half a cherry tomato. Upon closer inspection, the green color looks like mashed avocado. It might not be. Nothing is certain to me.

Director Lee smiled and said,

“Try it.”

I pick up a fork. The sauce that is spread across the plate appears to be a decoration. It must be a decoration. I’m not sure how to eat it.

The food could be consumed in a single bite. I don’t know why chefs pile those little things up so complicatedly when I can eat them in one bite. If I touch it with the fork, it would definitely fall over. It’s as though you’re destroying a castle in a miniature world.

I placed my fork slowly. The fork cut a mushy avocado (probably) and pressed the tomato inside. The yellow inside of the tomato leaked slightly. I’ve never been so careful before.

I was able to lift the food with all my effort. Director Lee is still looking at me. Is it okay for me to eat with my head down? Can I lift my fork high?

“Ah, ah, thank you to all Dongwoo Food officials who attended this event.”

The host spoke up. Director Lee turned his head forward. It was at this time. I eat the appetizer in one bite. And chewed it. The host’s greetings continued. The cuisine was the taste of the opening speech. I know what I need to say, but I don’t know how to say it. Even if I had graduated from the Department of Korean Language and Literature, I would not have been able to express this taste.

Director Lee turned to me.

“What do you think?”

I smile and nod. Director Lee’s eyes slightly creased. As long as Director Lee likes it.

Director Ha, who had been away, returned.

“What is this? I don’t know why they give me something like this every time. Do all rich Alphas people eat this? If you’re going to give me something like this, I’d rather grill a nogari.”

Director Ha poked at the tomato with a fork. It’s the most relatable thing I’d heard today. Director Ha lowered his head in my direction.

“Kim Jin-hyun, do you like beer? Would you like some beer?”

“I’m fine.”

“Have a drink. It’s boring here, so you have to drink.”

“Uncle.”

Director Lee warned. Director Ha quickly lowered his tail.

“Yeah, I got it. I should listen to my nephew.”

Several dishes were served after that. A steak the size of a finger was the closest to the taste of the food that I know. I’m not sure about the rest. A lot of things were served. The square one, round one, clam-like one… and yellow one…

Director Lee explained a lot about cooking. Director Ha and I both vigorously nodded. But every time I make eye contact with Director Ha, I’m convinced. We both don’t get it. We just eagerly nodded and reacted to the excited Director Lee.

The dishes were endless. It seems the idea was to be served one bite at a time. Director Lee seemed to savor each dish as if he were a gourmet. I also wanted to imitate, but I was not sure how. Don’t do anything you’re not sure about. When I was taking the SAT, I did the same for the math section.

While chewing something I presumed to be meat for a while, Director Ha spoke to me.

“But you know what? I’m here to get an autograph.”

“An autograph?”

“My wife likes dramas very much, and some male actor will come here as a special guest. What was it, it is a drama, what was it, that…”

Director Ha thought deeply. I drank some water. Water is the most delicious.

The host, who looked around the hall, grabbed the microphone.

“Are you enjoying your meal? We have a special guest to celebrate the collaboration with Dongwoo Beverage Director Ha Won-sik. Oh, he wasn’t easy to invite. He’s been very popular with his recent drama.”

The hall is filled with applause. The person who proudly stands on stage is someone I know well. Over there is the owner of the underwear I’m wearing.

“Please welcome actor Seol Ki-do with applause!”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Seol Ki-do. Nice to meet you.”

Why is he here?

Ki-do’s face seems to be brighter than it was in the morning. The tendon in the hand holding the microphone is noticeable. Ki-do greeted everyone in the crowd. I want to wave my hand, but he doesn’t seem to notice me. So this is the appointment he mentioned. I heard that the filming for his new drama had yet to start.

“Oh, yes, I have to go get that guy’s autograph.”

“It’s Joo-hyuk-ssi’s friend.”

There are noises from both sides at the same time. Director Lee’s looking at me. I can’t read his facial expressions.

“Isn’t that your friend? From earlier today?”

“Yes. That’s right.”

“Oh.”

Director Lee answered blandly and turned his head. Director Lee looks at Seol Ki-do intently.

“He is a celebrity.”

That’s right. I smile without answering. He is, indeed, a celebrity. Well, you’re surprised, right? Ki-do has been playing in a musical since he was in college… I went to his performance…

I have a lot of things to say about Ki-do. Although not as much as Director Ha, I can say a lot in a similar way. It’s reassuring to see someone I know in this unfamiliar environment. I raised my chin.

Seol Ki-do on stage is unfamiliar. He appears to be a normal person with a reasonably bright appearance. He is constantly sloppy about something while he is around me. I had no idea I’d be able to see the working Ki-do right in front of my eyes.

“Kim Jin-hyuk, you’re watching very closely. Is he your favorite actor?”

Director Ha asks. I corrected my posture.

“He is my friend. He was a junior in my college club.”

“Oh really? So, is that friend also a Beta?”

I want to ask for a moment. Why do you think he is a Beta?

“He’s an Alpha.”

“Really? He’s so handsome. My wife loves him so much when he appears.”

The host asks for a brief update from Ki-do on the current situation. Ki-do lied saying that he usually enjoys reading. I know that bastard hasn’t read a book since his third year of college. The script is clearly a book as well.

Director Lee sliced the steak quietly. My mouth becomes dry. From what I see here, Ki-do is really an Alpha. I suddenly realized I’m among Alphas. Alpha here, Alpha there… Since they are corporate executives, they are probably all Alphas. Both men and women are Alphas.

I seem to be the only Beta here. Seol Ki-do was an Alpha with the appearance of a Beta. At least, that’s how it looked to me. He couldn’t always manage his pheromones, and when his rut came, he always complained to me, but Ki-do is an Alpha.

Oh, he is also an Alpha.

Ki-do suddenly felt distant. I had the same drifting sensation as last night. My body seems to be floating in mid-air. The world I see is covered with a single layer of curtains. People who speak happily every now and then are in their world. I’m a total outsider.

Director Ha’s voice seems to ring in my ears. Alphas should marry Omegas. Si-hyun will also meet an Omega. Beta? Then your friends will be Betas. Beta, Beta, Beta…

What is a Beta’s life? Since I was a child, I’ve been a model student. Many adults have been gradually living the life they desire. Beta’s life. I am given a Beta’s life.

I raised my head. Everything is buzzing. My stomach is a little queasy. I covered my mouth. It’s because I ate foods that don’t suit me. Director Lee tilted his head at me.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded. Everyone is laughing as they watch the funny stories come and go. Ki-do laughs as well. I noticed a particularly pronounced ulna bone. I’d like to know what’s so funny about it.

“Director, I’m a Beta.”

“Joo-hyuk-ssi?”

“Do you like me even though I’m a Beta?”

Director Lee freezes like a broken doll. The lights in the hall are dim. Director Lee quietly swept my forehead.

“I like you.”

Ki-do’s voice filled the hall. Director Lee’s low voice seemed to come from his fingertips. Director Lee’s watch shone brightly.

“I like you. I like your insight, kindness, and even your slowness to notice how I feel.”

Director Lee held my hands.

“I like you.”

I feel like I’m drowning. I turn my head. I see Ki-do. It looks like our eyes met, but it doesn’t seem like it. It brought back memories of the old days. It just occurred to me.

“In the past, I went to a small theater.”