Chapter 248: Big P Energy

Chapter 248: Big P Energy

Okay, that didnt go quite as planned. Tom admitted.

You THINK!? Felix demanded as they ran down the venues built-in secret tunnel, aiming to get as far away fromwhatever the hell that was, as they could.

But the P-energy

Apparently thats not all there is to it, Felix said, grunting as he crouched down to exit the tiny one-man tunnel that exited out into Chicago proper. Who knew?

Theyd gotten a lot of info about Paradox over the years by scrapping anything he left on the battlefield, and that mummy had been the feather in their cap that had given them the information and confidence theyd needed to try and pull off the biggest heist ever: Holding the wedding cake hostage in exchange for Phat Loot.

Holding the cake hostage had been carefully selected to give them the best chance at pulling off the heist without bringing the wrath of the assembled supers down on them but still having a shot at that sweet, sweet ransom money.

The perfect plan really. They had all the counters for Paradoxs security system lifted off that mummy, allowing them to make tech and bio-parts that confused it enough for them to slip in through the buildings secret tunnel.

You know, after Avery and Maria, Im kind of wondering if maybe our plansarent that good? Tom posited.

Whats the problem, man? We realized we were being unethical, apologized for bringing them into existence, and gave them a golden parachute. Felix said, stepping out into the street and taking a grateful breath of fresh air as pedestrians cruised by at high speeds on the Tinkered sidewalks.

Yeah, but it was still a bad plan. Tom said. Arent we gettingtoo old for this? Were twenty four.

Wellmaybe. But are you still having fun?

Yeah. Tom admitted, catching his breath against the wall.

There ya go. Ill stop running around in power armor when it stops being fun.

Hey, theres Easy Access. Tom said, waving at the super parked across the street.

God, I wish we didnt have to work with him. Felix muttered.

Easy Access was a Wildcard type super who could reveal secret passages into buildings that had always been there, retroactively creating them. He charged obscene amounts of money for each job, and mainly specialized in heistsbut that wasnt what bothered Felix.

It was the name, and the suit with the cartoonish tunnel entrance with a big question mark over his crotch.

It had hinges and everything.

Felix shuddered.

Suddenly, Easy Access stopped waving back, and paled for an instant before their getaway car sped away, flickering through disguises as the super fumbled the knob.

Huh. Wonder what spooked him. Felix asked.

I think I might have an idea, Tom said.

Felix glanced over and spotted a black suit of armor standing between the two of them, arms over their shoulders.

Ack! Felix lashed out with a reflexive punch and landed iton Toms blue painted helmet.

Tom lashed out at the armor between them with a jet-assisted kick, and his toe caught Felix in the kidney, the dead-gel inside barely absorbing the shockwave before it reached Felixs organs.

An instant later, the suit of armor grabbed their heads and spun them around. Felix could hear the crick crack of stressed ceramics inches away from his squishy human skull as his whole body began to spin at outlandish speeds, turning the scenery of Chicago into a hellish tilt-a-whirl.

Felix broke away and staggered to a halt long enough to shoot a micromissile at the black armor, which flickered out of the way, revealing his brother.

Oh-

Tom got hit with the micromissile, which sent him tumbling backwards into the nearby Chicago wall.

Thats less than ideal.

We give up! Felix said, raising his hands.

You sure? Paradox asked from behind him. Cuz I could keep this up for a while.

Pretty sure, yeah, Felix said, hands still raised.

Did we surrender? Toms voice came out of the hole in the wall.

Yep.

Cool.

I saw Easy Access speeding away from here, so that explains how you got in, what Id like to know now is how you got the security system to ignore you.

Welll Felix didnt want to give away their work of the last several years.

Or you will officially become my nemeses, and Ill try to kill you every so often, just like you wanted. Although I think itll only happen once. Believe me, you dont want me to remember who you two are.

Perry lifted the corpse, flipping it over to reveal the gaping hole in its chest cavity.

You didnt do this? Perry asked, glancing over the organs. The lungs were indeed missing. They hadnt been ripped or cut, simply not existing in the first place.

No, that main hole was there when we found it. Tom said.

There were other surgical cuts made, obviously to take samples and use them to design things that could fool Perrys security system, both the bio-print and his dimensional signature.

Perry returned to the comp-gel brain.

It was in fairly good condition. He could probably fix it up and get it working again, get that smart AI assistant that totally got him that hed always wanted.

Sliding Stats

Body 135 -> 120

Attunement 135 -> 150

For a brief moment, Perrys Attunement became one thousand, five hundred and eight times stronger than his starting amount.

He tapped a finger to the brain and modified its chemical properties with his Spendthrift perk. The brain interacted with the oxygen and ambient temperature, and self-ignited, turning into a puddle of white-hot slag that melted through the table, scorching the floor.

WHAT WAS THAT FOR? Felix demanded, taking a step back from the heat.

The last thing I wanna do is wake up as a digital slave of myself. Perry murmured, watching the fire spread through the entire corpse, rendering it to primarily carbon and a bit of rare metals.

Forget what that was for, how the heck did you do it!? Tom asked, peering down at the ruined table, still bubbling as gas escaped the slurry of molten metals.

Perry reeled his Attunement back in and looked up at the two.

Ive got a pretty good idea what you two found, and I dont like it. Tell me everything you saw at the site. Everything you know about it.

Perry started rummaging around the lab, making himself at home.

Multi-Tool

A sampler drill appeared in Perrys hand as he grabbed alcohol and cotton swabs and a nearby gurney, switching on the vent to make sure the gasses from the bubbling hole in the middle of the floor didnt hurt his test subjects.

What are you doing? Felix asked.

Less asky, more talky, Perry said, humming to himself as he grabbed one of their computers and hacked into it in seconds, hauling it across the room to sit next to the table.

Next he went and grabbed a bunch of the testing hardware the brothers had used to study his androids flesh.

Theres nocorpse leftwhat are you Felix paled.

Why dont you take a seat while you tell me about when you found the mummy? Perry asked, patting the gurney.

WHIIIIR.

The bone-marrow sampler in Perrys hand whirred with what felt like a particularly eager drilling sound.

Look, I need bone marrow samples from both of you. We can do this the easy way, or I can lock you down again. And let me tell you. It will hurt less if youre not freaking out.

Why do you need bone marrow samples!? The brothers demanded at the same time.

To make sure youre you. Perry said with a shrug.

What?

Up on the gourney. Paradox said, pointing with the massive drill. Hop to it.

***Two excruciating bone marrow samples later***

Good news! Perry said after hed tested the samples. Both brothers were clutching their left arm. It would probably be bruised for weeks.

You guys are still humanfor better or worse. Now, show me on the map where you found the mummy, and dont leave each others sight for the nextehsix months should do it.

Tell me whats going on! Felix demanded

Paradox fixed the two of them with a stare, causing the two recreational supers to lean away from him.

Why? Do you want to be the ones to deal with the problem? Perry asked.

Ummno? Tom said.

Then show me where the replicator hideout where you found the mummy is. Afterwards you can go back to your day job as birthday clowns.