CH 48.2

——Yes, because of this girl, he was lucky enough to get out of his small, dark world and take a look outside. 

Because she was next to him, he knew that he could put on a cast without being afraid of trouble if he was injured; because of her, he tasted the sourness of jealousy; because of her, he lied a lot, just to hug her and kiss her. He knew what was in his heart and never wanted it to be taken away by others.

He became more and more greedy and incapable of being satisfied.

There’s more.

The boy hit the table with his head painfully.

It’s hard.

She was his angel and his only belief. What she gave him was the only light in his gloomy life.

There was no reason to leave her.

Once again he thought of the girl that was inside the deepest part of his heart. He thought hard about her eyes, eyebrows, white skin and soft lips.

She was so clever. When she smiled at him, there was always an affectionate light in her eyes.

Every time, every single time he saw her smile, there would be a dull pain in his heart that could not be suppressed. He wanted to hold her in his arms and kiss her as soon as possible.

She was so good. She once pulled him to run like crazy in the busy streets and the heavy snow. She took him to see the world. Time after time, she was always by his side.

To him, she was like an irreplaceable medicine.

He couldn’t live without her.

He really couldn’t leave her. What could he do without her?

The youth could hardly write.

There was a voice in his heart shouting, “What if you forget about it? Forget it and just stay with her. One day is another day with her.”

At this moment he suddenly remembered the hand he had unconsciously put on her neck the night before.

Endless dread and despair attacked him again.

The youth  firmly hit the table with his head again, detesting his thoughts from a second ago.

——Li Wei, you are really trash.

What are you going to do when you leave her? Can you bear it? For this girl, you have to protect her with your own hands all the time and prevent her from being hurt.

He really did not have the courage to take this risk.

The boy raised his head, looked at the screen and continued to tap.

“Man Man, I don’t want to repeat his mistakes. Even if I like you a lot, I don’t want to take such a big risk for you.”

Pause. The cursor went backwards. The words were deleted one by one.

“Man Man, I don’t want to repeat his mistake. In other words, I may not like you as much as I had imagined.”

However, the pain in his heart told him—I might like you a thousand times more than I could have imagined.

Okay, it’s over.

He was exhausted like a doctor after a difficult operation.

Would his Man Man cry when she reads it?

He’s sure she would cry.

After crying, she might be angry or resentful.

For a young lady at this age, even a kind person like her, would definitely have a hard time understanding such an email, right?

She would feel like she had really misjudged him. How could she like such a selfish and completely cold hypocrite?

Maybe she would angrily try to find him and want an explanation.

But he certainly would not let her find him.

Then, after countless nights of cursing and suffering, she would eventually forget him.

Maybe after a long time she would meet another person—a person better than him. They would hold hands, hug, kiss… They would even get married. They would go to see what she said, Sanya in winter and Jiangnan in spring.

They might have a beautiful and cute daughter like her.

The bottom of the youth’s eyes was suddenly stained with frightening red blood.

He could not stop himself from going mad.

He pushed a water cup and a stack of thick books on the table to the floor. There was a “bang” sound. The broken glass scattered, and a piece even cut the back of his hand.

The loud noise calmed the youth down.

——Look, you can’t control yourself at all. You are a devil. Any person she meets in the future will definitely be better than you.

At least he will be human and not a devil.

He raised his hand painfully and hammered the desk hard. After that, he trembled and forced himself to continue to type on the keyboard.

He typed down the next part that frightened him.

“In the future… You will meet someone who is a hundred times better than me.”

His heart “ba-dum” beyond its normal frequency.

That dull pain was more serious than all the previous pain combined.

When he finished writing, he quickly set the delivery time and he did not dare to read it again.

The youth looked at the mess in the huge study and closed his eyes as he lost all hope.

At the end of everything, he had lost her completely.