CH 58

“Please… please order people in charge of distributing grains to pay attention to the situation there a bit more. If you order them to protect the weaker people, who can’t come closer, Your Majesty’s grace that covered the sky and filled the lands will reach the lowest place… You will be able to get to the very place you wanted to take care of…” 

“…”

“Your Majesty. You can punish me, a concubine who dares to be so arrogant to you, but I beg you to look at them one more time.” 

Silence hovered around Hwawoon’s residence. The Emperor still said nothing, only looking at Hwawoon. Thus, no one dared to open their mouth first. 

***

Is this really possible? Yihan mulled over that while looking at Hwawoon, who was kneeling before him. Is this Yeon Hwawoon, whom I’m looking at now, really possible? Is it true that this is within the scope of change just because of experiencing death? 

To reflect is to look back on one’s past. Regretting what they have done and making sure to not do it again. In that sense, the changes Yeon Hwawoon had shown so far were so sudden and intense, which wasn’t only surprising but also could be seen as possible. 

Being generous to the subordinates whom he used to bully in his spare time. Showing courtesy to the empress whom he usually treated rudely and profane. No longer clinging to the emperor and trying to deceive him. These things could be done by Yeon Hwawoon. It was enough to just act the opposite of what he had done before. If someone truly regrets the past, they can change their behavior.

But this one is impossible. Yihan thought that what Yeon Hwawoon told him just now was completely different from the above.

For Yeon Hwawoon, the people were nonexistent. He was born into one of the most recognized meritorious families in the nation, raised in a fine way, and now he was the concubine of the emperor and stayed inside the imperial palace. He was not a person who was obligated to take care of the people like the emperor or empress, and his nature itself was not a person who cared about the lives of the people and tried to look after them.

Those who starved outside were different from those who were tormented by Hwawoon at the Jeongan Palace. In other words, they have never entered Hwawoon’s life, and Hwawoon was not the one who took a look at them. 

But that Yeon Hwawoon—no matter how much he reflected on his past life—became so interested in their lives that he understood, cared for them in a day, and even told the emperor how to deal with them? Yihan couldn’t tell if this really made sense. 

After a long silence, Yihan opened his mouth. 

“… Get up now.” 

“…”

“I… I got what you mean.” 

Won’t His Majesty get angry? Won’t he fly into a rage, asking how dare you to meddle in the affairs of the nation? Hwawoon, who was having such thoughts in the prolonged silence, looked up at the emperor with surprised eyes because his voice to him was too soft. 

The emperor’s eyes, which he saw, seemed to be a bit surprised and confused, but he didn’t look angry, so he felt like he was drained at once. Hwawoon, who had lost strength all over his body at once, couldn’t get up easily and just look at Yihan. And Yihan, who breathed a short sigh, immediately reached out one hand to Hwawoon.

Just like what he did at Suhwawon. Reaching out a firm and warm hand, Yihan said,

“It was… something I didn’t think of.” 

“…”

“You have… enlightened me.” 

Hwawoon had no choice but to realize once again at that moment. That his emperor was this kind of person from the start. From the moment Hawoon first crossed paths with the emperor, that person was the one who wanted to bend his back as much as he could to look at and lead the lives of the people.

Willing to listen and accept what he has to hear for the people under any circumstances. Therefore, if it was truly for the people, even if it was something that Yeon Hwawoon said, he was ready to listen to it. Hwawoon felt the sincerity of such a wise emperor to the bones right there.

He couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed. Hwawoon had no idea how to not truly respect and admire such a person in his heart. Without knowing it, Hwawoon wrapped the emperor’s hand with his two hands and put his forehead on them, and said,

“Your grace… is immeasurable, Your Majesty.”

Although Hawoon happened to face the Emperor that day which led him to come far to this palace and eventually died in vain, because his emperor was such a good person, Hwawoon never regretted the choice of the day when he entered the palace only because of that one person. 

***

“Seocheon! Seocheon!” 

After finishing his shift, Domyung hurriedly visited Seocheon, who just washed up and got ready to sleep. Soon after finding Seocheon sitting in one corner, Domyung, who hurried to approach him, raised his voice and shouted even before asking Seocheon the details. 

“What are you up to?!” 

“What are you talking about all of a sudden?”

“You…! I heard you asked to be moved to Jeongan Palace!” 

Seocheon finally realized why Domyung suddenly got enraged this much. When Seocheon made a calm sound, ah…, with an expression that it was nothing big, Domyung, who distorted his face, sat down next to Seocheon and continued.

“Seriously, what are you up to?” 

“Nothing. I heard there were not enough people in Jeongan Palace, so I just said I would go.”

“Hey, don’t try to fool me even if you can fool others. I know you still can’t sleep thinking about Hawoon every night, but you said you’re going to Jeongan Palace for nothing?!”

Domyung found out that Seocheon was blaming Yeonbin for Hawoon’s death. Of course, that couldn’t be said to be utterly wrong, but that didn’t mean that Yeonbin jumped into the water to kill Hawoon. Hawoon was not forced by anyone to jump into the water, but it was entirely his will to throw himself to save Yeonbin. Domyung sincerely thought that he could not only blame Yeonbin for the incident.

Of course, Domyung also thought that Yeonbin drowned on purpose to buy the emperor’s sympathy, so it was also understandable that the death felt unfair and resentful from the perspective of caring for Hawoon. But Hawoon was already dead and there was no turning back. Domyung was worried that Seocheon might make a big mistake because he was clinging to that incident. 

Domyung continued speaking to Seocheon, who gave no answer. 

“I’m begging you as a close friend. If you’re going to do something stupid, please stop here. Okay?”

“… It’s not like that, so don’t worry, and let’s just sleep.”

“Man, seriously. I can’t die peacefully at this rate. It’s going to take a few days for your move, so please give it a good thought and change your mind!” 

At Seocheon’s expression, which was unbothered no matter what he said, Domyung stood up, pounding his chest as if he was frustrated. He wouldn’t change once he made up his mind no matter what others said to him, so it would only frustrate him more if he kept talking. Domyung just wished Seocheon wouldn’t do anything to ruin his life under the emotions of the moment.

Seocheon, who was alone again once Domyung had left, pulled a handkerchief out of his own arms and looked at it. It was Hawoon’s handkerchief that he once wrapped around Seocheon’s injured hand. After hearing that Yeonbin personally put a handkerchief around a court lady’s hand, Seocheon was thinking about Hawoon’s handkerchief the whole time. 

Seocheon himself knew—that he had to let go of the dead person. Even though Yeonbin was the most terrible person in the world, he did not intentionally kill Hawoon, so Seocheon knew that blaming him was not the right thing to do. So he tried his best to forget about it.

However, as if to ridicule Seocheon’s efforts, Yeonbin’s name continued to spread throughout the palace after Hawoon’s death. It spread not because of the vicious things he usually did. How Yeonbin changed after returning from his death. How affectionate he was and how kind he was to his subordinates. How beautiful and noble he looked. Those words even reached Seocheon’s ears.

Seocheon then couldn’t help but think about who was truly kind, who cared for and took care of those who were weaker than him, and who was truly beautiful and noble. All the words Yeon Hwawoon was hearing right now were, in fact, the most appropriate evaluation for Hawoon than anyone else.

So when he heard such words toward Yeonbin, Seocheon felt like something was taken away even though it was not his. The man who drove Hawoon to death. The person who made Hawoon die so vainly now seemed to have taken even the character of Hawoon as his own. He felt resentful and unfair even though he knew it wasn’t the proper emotion.