CH 83

He was a little confused when he first heard it, but Hwawoon’s question rather made Yihan’s thoughts a little clearer. Until a while ago, he wondered why everything about Yeon Hwawoon, which was not even the first time he saw it, was so new and unfamiliar, but now he could guess why. 

Yihan continued to talk despite Hwawoon not knowing what to answer. 

“I’m not amazed by your hands because they are small.”

Yihan’s hand, which was holding Hwawoon’s hand, held it stronger. 

“I’m… I’m just…”

“…”

“You’ve become a different person, and the relationship between you and me has changed a little, so everything is new to my eyes.” 

The relationship between you and me has changed a little. 

Yihan managed to make the sentence by choosing the words very heavily. It was still a difficult matter for Yihan to define what and how his relationship with Hwawoon changed, but it was now undeniable that his view of him had also changed since Yeon Hwawoon changed.

Yihan’s thumb rubbed the back of Hwawoon’s hand very slowly and carefully. The sensation transmitted to the tip of the finger was so numbing that he bit his lips for a while, and Yihan said. 

“If your hands were big, I would have been amazed because they were big.”

He would be amazed no matter what it was. Looking back, ever since Yeon Hwawoon said he wanted to live again as the emperor’s person, Yihan has been looking at everything about Hwawoon in a new light. 

“If you had rough hands, I would have seen them as I do now.” 

Because Hwawoon was beautiful. He didn’t see him new because he had a natural beauty, but because he became such a gentle and friendly person. That was why his face, hands, eyes, and lips looked new in his eyes. 

“Regardless of how you look, as long as you are who you are now, would I have said I don’t want to see you?”

Yihan’s voice gently wrapped around Hwawoon like the moonlight of the full moon day. Then, miraculously. Really, miraculously, Hwawoon saw the wounds of Hawoon, which were drawn over the white and thin hand held in the emperor’s hand. In Hwawoon’s eyes, a little bigger and a little rougher hand was held in Yihan’s hand. It was a very strange sensation. 

When Hwawoon unwittingly wriggled his hand held by Yihan because somewhere in his mind tickled, Yihan also felt itchy at the end of his stomach, so he let go of his hand and coughed. The awkward air quickly wrapped around the two people and filled the room. Hwawoon clenched his fist again and hid his hand inside his sleeve, and Yihan, who was looking around for no reason, looked outside the window where the darkness suddenly deepened for a moment and said to Hwawoon. 

“Aren’t you tired? You’d better go to bed before the medicine stops working…”

“Oh… I’m fine. But Your Majesty, you also have to go back and rest now.” 

In fact, Hwawoon forgot that his back hurt because his whole senses were focused on Yihan. At the same time, Yihan liked to sit face-to-face with Hwawoon and talk about nothing. He didn’t know he was tired despite being unable to sleep well last night. However, since the two people didn’t exactly know about their own conditions, both of them thought it would be right to step back now for the other person. 

At that time, Yihan, who was hesitating as if he was thinking for a while, opened his mouth, leaning slightly toward Hwawoon. 

“Still, you need to sleep well to get better quickly. I’ll lay you down, so here… lean on me.” 

“Oh, no, Your Majesty. I can! I can lie down alone!” 

Hwawoon shook his head violently in surprise at Yihan’s action to lay him down as he was uncomfortable moving his body. Even though he was a patient, the noble emperor should have never taken care of him. However, Yihan, who was rather determined by Hwawoon’s strong rejection, let out a displeased sound to shut Hwawoon up. He then stretched out his arms and slowly leaned him on his arms. 

“Stay still. Come on.” 

Yihan’s lips came to Hwawoon’s ear. Yihan’s voice was whispering very low, but somehow, the voice seemed to hold him even more heavily, so Hwawoon just held his breath and left his body as Yihan led. 

Yihan, who held Hwawoon in his arms and hugged his waist with one hand to keep his body from shaking, set back the pillow that had been raised a bit with the other hand. Then, he slowly tilted his body together and laid Hwawoon in his arms very carefully. 

Slowly, and so gently so that the injured back didn’t get touched too much.

Yihan, who was only concerned about it, did not expect this situation. So, he really didn’t know that it would be a situation where he would look down at Hwawoon with his arms on both sides of Hwawoon in a posture that seemed like he was pinning him down.

“…”

“…”

The distance of the eyes was so close, and the breath at the tip of the nose was so vivid that the two just looked at each other without saying anything. Yihan was in a distance close enough to reach anywhere on Hwawoon’s face if he lowered his head just a little bit.

They were surprised and embarrassed, so they thought they should get out of the situation quickly, but at the same time, they were afraid that this moment would be broken if they opened their mouths. So, no one could easily open their mouths. They couldn’t even move their bodies. Only the shaking eyes of the two people were tangled in the air. 

Hwawoon’s scattered long hair touched Yihan’s hands that were supporting himself. Despite the contact that was nothing, Yihan’s body kept getting hot because it seemed like a fire lit up from his fingertips and spread to his heart. 

Just a little bit. If he bent his body just a little bit. 

Pretending innocent. Pretending he didn’t know. Pretending it was a mistake. If he lowered his head for one like that.

Then he might be able to reach the lips that kept catching his gaze and making his heart flutter from time to time.

Yihan’s body slowly came down, and just before the two lips met, Yihan, who suddenly came to his senses, raised his head slightly for a moment. Yihan’s lips soon fell on Hwawoon’s forehead. 

“…!”

The hot body temperature because of the fever was transferred through the lips. It was not even the first time he put his lips on someone’s skin, but a strange feeling popped out from where he touched it and spread throughout his body. 

As if firecrackers were exploding inside his body, Yihan rose up very urgently and stepped back from Hwawoon. He couldn’t come to his senses because his heart was pounding so loudly, and he couldn’t even dare to look at Hwawoon’s reaction, so Yihan just raised his voice like a child. 

“I’m… I’m going to go now, so don’t think about sending me out, and go to sleep!”

“Your—” 

“Don’t say anything! Hurry up and sleep!” 

Like a man chased by something, the emperor stepped back foolishly and eventually even pointed his finger at Hwawoon. In the meantime, he was worried that Hwawoon would try to send him out. 

It was surprising that he kissed his forehead, but what was worse was the fact that he actually wanted to take his lips. He was really regretting that he didn’t play innocent to take those lips, and raised his head. Hate to admit it, Yihan quickly left the bedroom without seeing Hwawoon anymore. 

“Your Majesty, what’s wrong?”

Eunuch Oh, who was waiting outside, approached and asked when he saw Yihan, who seemed to be chased because his face was bright red. But Yihan just shook his head around strongly instead. 

He raised his hand and gently touched the lips that touched Hwawoon’s forehead. He felt like he had a heart on his lips and fingertips. No, his whole body was pounding as if it were a huge drum, and now it was difficult to distinguish whether this beat was really his or the sky and the earth. 

What’s the big deal of this? It’s not a big deal between the emperor and the concubine to kiss. Yihan stood there and took deep breaths several times to calm himself down. 

My heart became weaker because Yeon Hwawoon is sick. He is suffering from injury on behalf of Sukbi, so I felt pity for him. For that reason, as an emperor, I may comfort my concubine by kissing him. Yihan decided to ignore his heartbeat, which kept ringing so clearly. 

He was afraid of the feeling that he would never be able to ignore if he realized and acknowledged it. He was scared he would lose it if he realized it. Yihan, who once again shook his head lightly, opened his mouth toward Eunuch Oh. 

“Let’s go back to Anjeong Palace.”

It was a man’s face that still had yet to cool down. 

***

Hwawoon was lying down looking at the ceiling, clenching his hands tightly in front of his chest. It seemed like this was a dream. He was so careful even to breathe once because he was afraid that if he moved recklessly, he would get out of this dream. If it was a dream. If it was really his dream, Hwawoon didn’t want to wake up for a very long time.

He couldn’t feel the pain in his back. Every time he closed his eyes and opened them, the view in front of him was distorted in a strange shape, and he couldn’t tell whether it was because it was a dream, because of the medicine’s effect, or because he was so surprised by the situation he didn’t think of. 

The emperor’s lips touched his forehead. That person’s soft, warm, and light flesh fell on top of his skin.