Chapter 26: Shipping

Chapter 26: Shipping

Maggie wore an expression bordering on awe, with eyes wide, jaw hanging, and slithering locks flailing. The phenomenon unfolding before her was something she had both heard about and seen glimpses of, but to witness it in person was positively breathtaking. She was standing at the entrance of a massive atrium, an open space filled with thousands of people. Normally a crowd of this magnitude was accompanied by a certain amount of disarray, especially when cramped into one spot. Arguments over seats, kids running around willy-nilly, and a colorful mix of various body odors were but a few of the factors that contributed to a noisy, rowdy atmosphere.

However, this was the Third British Empire - a civilization and culture built upon a series of ancient and sometimes peculiar traditions. One of these was their obsession with queueing, as embodied by the dizzyingly long lines of people calmly and quietly awaiting their turn. Nobody tried to cut in place, argue with the attendants, or otherwise inconvenience others around them. People could even leave their spot for a few minutes and come back to it without so much as saying a word to those in front or behind. The only voices heard were of clerks and employees that called for the next in line, at which point everyone in that queue took an almost unanimous step forward. All in all, it was a display of order made all the more impressive by the near-total lack of oversight, not to mention its sheer scale.

Maggie? Hey, Maggie!

Ah. What is it Joe?

You alright? You spaced out for a bit.

I am fine. I was merely overwhelmed by this queueing phenomenon.

Oh, that? Yeah, I feel you. Quite the mess with this many people, innit? Cant even keep a proper straight line.

The girl alternated between staring at the unreasonably long rows of people and giving the man confused looks. Even she couldnt imagine how high his standards for queueing were if the display before her was deemed as quite the mess. Admittedly it wasnt perfect. The lines werent completely straight, as he said, and occasionally someone would have to be nudged along, stuff like that. Those flaws were so minor, however, that complaining about them was like raising a fuss over a few dead pixels on a wall-sized monitor. Then again, Joe had been staring at that metaphorical screen for his entire life, so perhaps the flaws stood out more from his perspective.

Which was our flight, again? Joe inquired while peering around the atrium.

445-015-B, Maggie replied.

Ah, over there, then, he pointed to one of the dozens of queues. Cmon, lets get this over with. I hate the bloody spaceport.

The couple made their way down some steps and towards their designated boarding dock. Maggie took her place at the rear of the line, eager to partake in this curious British tradition. Joe was far less enthusiastic, though. He kept grumbling under his breath right up until he took the spot behind the girl, at which point he clammed up completely. His foul mood was, as per usual, caused by something irrational. Namely, his astrohodophobia. Not only did he have to face his fear of space travel head on, but him ending up in this situation was technically his own bloody fault.

Maggie had been accused of copyright infringement for bearing the appearance of renowned actress Melinda Sparklestar. Joe wasnt familiar with the legal technicalities, but he knew that accusation wasnt something to be taken lightly. With how good gene mods were these days, it was frighteningly easy to copy a famous persons looks and potentially impersonate them. Such imitations could cause quite a bit of trouble even though theyd never trick automated security systems. Truthfully this sort of fraudulent activity was closer to identity theft than copyright infringement, but was still considered the latter due to the convoluted way the laws were written. Essentially, the studio that employed Melinda Sparklestar owned the rights to her physical appearance, and it was their responsibility to crack down on anyone that was a close enough match.

It was plainly obvious that Maggie fit that criteria, given that her face was nearly identical to the actresss. Even worse, she had deliberately chosen to wear that appearance. It would have been a different story if she was born with it, but that absolutely wasnt the case. Admittedly she had no idea the face she plucked from Joes brain way back when was copyrighted, but the law didnt really care about such circumstances. She looked like Melinda Sparklestar by choice, which meant that Bubble Spotlight Studios - the actresss employer - had the legal right to force her to change her face or risk fines and potential jail time.

The couple naturally werent too happy with this development. Though it was a trivial matter for the Class-3 entity to sculpt herself a new appearance, both she and Joe had grown too emotionally attached to the way she was. They had discussed their options and decided to challenge the copyright claim in court. Neither of them were lawyers, nor did they know anyone who was, but Maggie was absolutely certain she was capable of defending herself. Joe had to agree that if anyone could successfully navigate the convoluted web of stipulations and regulations that made up modern copyright law, it was an unfathomably intelligent entity of cosmic order.

That was all well and good, but taking this matter to civil court required that they first met with a legal team that represented Melinda Sparkelstar and her employer. The law firm in question didnt have any offices in the solar system where Joe lived, hence why he and Maggie were in line to board a shuttle at the spaceport. The man silently chided himself over his past short-sightedness. Why didnt he ask Maggie to pick a different face from his memories right at the start? Well, no, he knew the answer to that. It was because she was really hot, and he was really stupid. Furthermore, it was also his idea to go to that seaside resort last week, which, given the timing, was probably the reason why the studio noticed Maggie in the first place. No matter how he looked at it, it was his own fault he was about to climb into a metal box and get fired into the void of space.

Well, it wasnt all bad. The girl was plenty excited to board an interstellar vessel and hitch a ride to another planet. Joe could tell she was grinning ear to ear even though he could only see the back of her head. She rarely displayed this much enthusiasm, and her good mood was quite infectious. It served to temper the mans nervousness somewhat, though nothing could quell his fears completely. He grew progressively more agitated as the queue he was in steadily moved forward. By the time he reached the desk and had to speak with the spaceport employee, he was sweating profusely and looked rather pale.

First time flying, sir? the girl behind the counter asked knowingly.

Ah. Erm, uh, y-yes, he barely replied.

Would you like to purchase a sleeper brace, then?

Uh What?

A sleeper brace, sir. Its a neck accessory that synchronises with your PnP implant and induces a harmless coma that lasts for the duration of the voyage. From your perspective you would doze off just before lift off and then wake up at your destination in the blink of an eye.

Joe considered the offer. From what he understood, his trip would start with a ten hour shuttle flight to a freighter, which would need another six hours to maneuver into position before it initiated its wormhole generator. The jump itself would only take about twenty seconds, but hed still have to sit through another thirteen hours of space flight before finally touching down on Lancaster-3. That was a total of roughly thirty hours of travel, the entirety of which hed spend terrified out of his skull. The option to just skip all that unpleasantness seemed almost too good to be true.

However, he caught a glimpse of Maggies expectant face and was struck with a pang of guilt. The girl no doubt wished to share this experience with him, and would be disappointed if he just clocked out. Taking the sleeper brace would be both selfish and cowardly, and no man wanted to show such a pathetic side of themselves to the one they loved. So, with a sigh and a wince, Joe decided to bite the proverbial bullet.

Ill pass, thanks.

As you wish, sir. Please put your luggage on the automated trolley at your feet and place your hand on the scanner.

The man complied and put his duffel bag on the wheeled automaton next to the clerks desk, which sped off somewhere and allowed another unit to take its place. Joe then pressed his palm into a small glowing panel that beeped affirmatively after a few moments later. The attendant thanked him, pressed a few buttons on her end, then directed Joe towards docking bay 213-A, same as Maggie. The couple passed through a series of hallways and escalators before arriving at a rather cramped waiting room. There was barely enough seating for ten people, but that wasnt an issue since there werent any other people around at the moment. The metal walls were empty save for a few vending machines on one end and a massive window on the other. Joes eyes were drawn to the pane of bulletproof glass, beyond which lay the vessel he was about to board.

Sat in the middle of the docking bay was an orbital shuttle in the shape of an arrowhead. Its outer plating was painted a brilliant white, with a solid black stripe along its edges. The designation OS-64-M was stamped in large, blocky lettering at the tip of each wing. Joe actually recognized that model. Also known as Silver Tempest, it was the shuttle equivalent of a fancy high-end sports car. It was featured prominently in several of the games in Joes library, and each of its virtual representations handled like a dream.

Wait, were getting aboard one of those?! the realization finally hit him.

Yes, Maggie chirped in delight. I arranged for it specifically.

The girl had also been impressed by the vessels performance in the digital world and wanted to see if the real deal matched up to the simulations.

Youre not gonna fly it yourself, are you? Joe inquired.

I would like to, but I havent gotten my pilots license yet.

Piloting was one of those mechanical skills that came naturally to Maggie. Unfortunately, it took more than raw ability to get a pilots license. The most troublesome prerequisite was that she needed to complete a virtual training course that included two hundred hours of mandatory flight practice. She hadnt gotten around to doing that yet as her other hobbies, interests, and duties kept her quite busy. Not to mention that she couldnt afford to purchase a shuttle of her own just yet, pushing the time-consuming chore down towards the bottom of her priority list.This chapter is updated by nov(e)(l)biin.com

As such, I must await a later opportunity to pilot an OS-64-M, she added.

Ugh. Cant we like, pull some strings to get you behind the stick? Joe grumbled. I know youre an incredible pilot, but I dont trust some random stranger to fly me around.

The girl smiled sweetly and rubbed his shoulder in a soothing manner.

Itll be alright. Even if the worst happens and the cabin experiences explosive decompression, I can sustain your life functions for at least two weeks, even in a vacuum.

Look, Maggie, I know youre trying to help, but saying things like explosive decompression and life functions really isnt helping.

I apologize. Would you like to lie in my lap instead?

Yes, please.

Huh?! Wha?! the startled man sat up in his cot.

This is Captain Grace speaking, the female voice continued. We have just finished clearing the orbital plane of the Butterpond system, and will be making our wormhole jump in T minus ninety seconds. I apologize for the short notice, but were bumping our schedule up a bit. As per usual, the artificial gravity field will be disabled for the duration of the jump, so please make sure youre either strapped in or holding onto something.

Joe groaned and blinked as he tried and failed to process that information. He hadnt fully woken up yet and his left arm was on pins and needles since hed slept on it weird, so his attention span was practically nonexistent. He had no idea what the captain just said, other than the last part about holding onto something. That wasnt an issue since the cot he was in had these handy-dandy bars for him to grab onto. Which was what he did, though he wasnt sure why.

Attention, this is Captain Grace. Jump is in thirty seconds, so better brace yourselves if you dont want a nasty bump when we emerge on the other side.

Thankfully that second announcement cleared up much of his confusion. This mightve been Joes first interstellar journey, but hed seen enough movies to know what going through a wormhole involved. That said, he was a bit miffed that they didnt give him more of a heads up. Oh well, it was no big deal. Even if hed slept through those announcements, the worst that would happen was that hed drift upward while the artificial gravity was off and then have a bit of a tumble when it was turned back on. It would hurt, but probably wasnt enough to cause injury.

Then, Joe noticed Maggie. The girl was silently hover-sitting a few steps away with her eyes closed and hairtacles flailing madly. He had absolutely no idea what she was doing. However, he had a hunch that this wasnt the right time to be doing it. So, when the feeling of weightlessness overcame him and the girl started drifting up towards the ceiling, the man had a bit of a panic attack over her safety.

Maggie! he called out to her. Oi, Maggie! Were about to jump, so-

He did not manage to finish that sentence in time. There was a bizarre shhhloooorp sound as the ship carried him through the generated wormhole, after which everything went black. He couldnt see, hear, or feel anything, not even his own heartbeat or the clothes on his back. Joes minor panic attack rapidly escalated into a major one at the disturbing and unfamiliar situation he found himself in. Several frantic seconds later, his senses came back to him just as his back slammed back into the bed. This was immediately followed by a heavy, painful thud from the middle of the room.

Joes head snapped towards the source of that noise. Sure enough, Maggie had taken a nasty fall when the artificial gravity kicked back in. Objectively speaking, he really didnt need to worry about her. She was quite durable and effectively immortal. However, no man could stay calm at the sight of his girl getting hurt. His adrenaline already spiking from the emotional rollercoaster, Joe scrambled out of bed and went to check on her. He completely forgot about his own condition, though that was mostly because a nasty surprise was all he got from the ordeal.

Maggie! You okay?!

His concern proved justified as he placed a hand on the prone girls bare shoulder. Immediately he noticed that her skin didnt have its usual ambiguous temperature, but was just straight up warm. Not only that, but the swirling un-light was gone from her eyes and her hair was completely inanimate. Usually this meant she was either momentarily dead or otherwise unconscious, but neither of those seemed to be the case. She was breathing splendidly and her pitch-black irises were deliberately staring right at Joes face.

Maggie? Hello?

The man waved a hand in front of her face and snapped his fingers a few times. She didnt say anything, but she did react by tracking those movements. Not with her eyes, but with her entire head. It was more than a little unsettling. Not sure what to do, Joe tried to help her to her feet. The girl took the prompt and stood with ease, but did not move beyond that. He made a few more attempts to get her to respond. All were met with that blank, unblinking stare.

Ah, bugger, the man pinched the bridge of his nose. Shouldve known. Youre from another dimension, of course something went tits-up when you passed through a bloody wormhole.

Query: what is the relation between the upright position of breasts and artificial anomalies in the space-time continuum?

Well, she was talking. That wouldve been good news if not for her flat tone and strange manner of speaking. Something was very clearly wrong, but Joe was at such a complete loss that he struggled to do or say anything. It wasnt like shed relapsed or anything. Even Maggie from a few months ago showed more emotion than that.

Query: what is the relation between the upright position of-

Theres none, okay?! the man blurted out without thinking. Its a figure of speech!

Query: Which part of your statement is a figure of speech?

Th-the tits-up part.

Query: What is the meaning of tits-up?

It, uh, means something went wrong.

Statement: Acknowledged and committed to memory, the girl declared, then fell silent again.

Joe could do little but rub his face in confusion and groan with exasperation. This was the last thing he needed to deal with first thing after waking up. At the very least he was done panicking, allowing him to try and piece together exactly what was going on. To begin with, this was Maggie, so it was probably something both nonsensical and perfectly logical. Thinking back to just before the jump, she looked really busy to the point where she ignored not one, but two announcements.

The mans media-addled brain came up with a fittingly ludicrous explanation with frightening speed. What if Maggies body got here alright, but her brain got lost in transit? Figuratively speaking, of course. She wouldnt be doing much of anything if her skull was literally empty, let alone looking around and asking questions. But if she was gone, who was controlling her body? Some kind of autopilot maybe? It was hardly impossible considering who and what Maggie was. And hey, if it was a question of putting her mind back in her body, Joe knew just what to do.

Right. Either this will work and Im the greatest, he mumbled under his breath, or it wont and its going to be incredibly creepy.

He stepped forward and gently held her head in his hands. The girl did not resist in the slightest as he pulled her in and gave her a full kiss on the lips. Sure enough, he felt the familiar sensation of something pouring out of his throat and going down Maggies. A few breaths later, he pulled away and was relieved to see the pale girl had returned to her usual self, swirly eyes and wriggling locks included.

I am impressed, she smiled sweetly. You figured that out faster than I anticipated.

Yeah, Im pretty awesome sometimes. You all good, though?

I am fine, yes.

Good, thats good. Phew the tension finally started to leave him. What happened to you anyway?

My consciousness was forcefully ejected from my vessel when we passed through the wormhole, she confirmed his theory.

Is that going to happen every time we go through a wormhole?

Yes, she nodded. I am a foreigner to this reality, and as such am easily detached from it.

Cant you, I dunno, strap your brain in or something?

I could attempt to develop some appropriate countermeasures. However, I feel that is a waste of my time and energy considering how easy it is for you to bring me back.

Yeah, alright. Leave it to me, he proudly declared. Ill snog you as many times as it takes!

Just so you know, mouth-to-mouth contact is not vital for the revival process. The most important factor is physical proximity between anchor and vessel.

Joe squinted as he made an attempt to read between the lines.

So the kissing is unnecessary, but appreciated?

Exactly, the girl smirked.