Psychokinetic Eyeball Pulling
Astrid, a mischievous noble teen, long dreamed of exploring the ancient cities preserved beneath... Read more Astrid, a mischievous noble teen, long dreamed of exploring the ancient cities preserved b... more>>Astrid, a mischievous noble teen, long dreamed of exploring the ancient cities preserved beneath... Read more Astrid, a mischievous noble teen, long dreamed of exploring the ancient cities preserved beneath the waves, left behind from a time before the ocean swallowed the world.When an ancient monster long thought dead assaults humanity's last bastion, a floating ship-city, she awakens her System early–only, she's not a warrior as expected, but forced to walk the path of a [Psychokinetic].With Spawn infested oceans, pirates looking to plunder, and mysterious monsters that lurk within Bubbled-Cites at the bottom of the ocean. Safety is anything but guaranteed.She’ll learn to trip; levitate, throw objects, eyeball pulling, all the way to the apex of psychic powers.But, what happens when she discovers that her world was a lot larger than she–and the rest of humanity, once thought?***[Psychokinetic] Eyeball Pulling is a laid back story about a young girl who has a craving for adventure and fighting. She wasn't expecting to awaken as a mage class, but that won't stop her from having fun—no—It only makes it better! No longer will she need to resort to laborious activities, including, but not limited to; picking up stuff, carrying stuff, or even throwing stuff! Everything can be done with her mind!This is the first serious litRPG I am writing, and I am considered a new author. So please be kind!What to expect from this story:- LitRPG elements with blue boxes- A mischievous, powerful female protagonist- Gore, eyeball pulling, and limb pulling.- Slice of life elements with a party of (hopefully) interesting and fun characters- Average chapter length 1800-2200 with a release of Mon-Wed-Fri Collapse Accelerated Growth, Adventurers, Age Progression, Army, Fearless Protagonist, Female Protagonist, Girl's Love Subplot, Level System, Magic, Magic Beasts, Monsters, Post-apocalyptic, Psychic Powers, Strong to Stronger, Zombies, LitRPGSo, I've read 152 chapters of this and let me tell you why I didn't particularly liked it.I don't try to dissuade anyone from reading, and if you liked it despite what's written below, I'm happy for you.Yes, it's just a rantFirst and the biggest, in my opinion, is author's ever-present indecision, trying to sit on all chairs at once. Just some quick notable examples to get the feel: Mc's a noble, but she's a simpleton, she's a genius at swordsmanship, but she's a mage, whole world is an ocean, but author creates inland-ish feel, lore and setting is almost grimdark, but everyone's having time of their lives.Maybe not every single thing suffers from this here, but a whole lot certainly do, and the thing that suffers a lot is [dramatic pause] Psychokinetic Eyeball Pulling. Oftentimes it looks like just a silly gimmick, the eyeball pulling part, and after a while, what brings frustration is that MC just doesn't do it for no particular reason, despite apparent quickness and effectiveness.That's why I started loosing interest approaching chapter 152. There's one move vastly superior to every other move, and author making MC not use this move just so they can drag drag out the fight for more drama is very frustrating.Then, there's all other moves and abilities. Nothing is more frustrating than knowing MC's full moveset and then struggle because they just don't use some ability which would easily bail them out. That lead us to the next topic of forgotten child of plagiarism, which are the second classes. Not just the MC's second class is basically forgotten, but basically everyone has just a single class(for their skillset too one-dimensional to believably say it's a combination of skillsets of two classes), loosing this part of interesting two different classes interaction, which present in Azarinth Healer and which system is made to accommodate and handle, which system is taken here, with minor adjustments, namely class acquisition, titles, skill thresholds, and vitality with endurance are now constitution. While this story still somewhat works, it is a prime example of how you should make a system for your story and not the other way around. It just doesn't fit there, trying to modify it to suit this story's needs, author stripped all the system should have done to the story, that being an appropriate reward for effort and accomplishments. Here, system is frankenstein's monster instead of a real thing, making effort seem meaningless and accomplishments empty or undeserved.Next I want to talk how eyeball pulling gimmick feels forced and basically unwelcome. Author explores a bit about psychokinesis, it's upper limits, and then suddenly remembers he has eyeball pulling quota to fill, so that's going into the window for now, and then there's dissonance with other system stuff, like there's bonus to strength, bonus to to psychic damage, and then there's... bonus to eyeball pulling easiness... It just feels weird, like imagine a class that instead of increasing all unarmed damage increased damage of just the uppercut damage... like it's so weirdly specific it rubs the wrong way.Next, there's a general skill creep. MC used the skill in battle: skill leveled up, skill was barely used in a fight? Who cares, skill leveled up! Uhm, the skill isn't even usable in battle... What, can't hear you, skill leveled up! In every battle!!While in Azarinth Healer you can see the direct correlation between a skill being used and it leveling up, here it just levels by the virtue of existing. Such a bad correlation between accomplishments and rewards that i don't even know what to say about it.Worldbuilding is very lax. What I mean is what on the main ship there's like 5 houses in upper district, basically nothing in middle district, and infinite dungeon-like lower district with like 3 places of interest. They all have very inland feel to them, like they're not on the ship, ship's overall size is poorly described. The rest of the world is basically build out of cliches without any real depth to it, then there's another cliche of mysterious stuff happening worldwide and out MC here is conveniently just met all requirements to jump right into the fray to crawl around figuring out conspiracies.Characters are pretty static, there's not a single moment of character development I can call out. It would've been fine if characters were well written, but the MC is way off for that. MC... is very very strange. Like, she's said to be bullied repressed child, but now she's the spoiled liked-by-everyone with basically nothing in-between happening, likewise, she's said to be the winner of basically every single sword tournament she participated in, but that never shows, with her being helplessly clueless in self-defense.In conclusion, author has gone after too much cool stuff without really thinking it through, but decent first litRPG attempt3/5I would like to take a minute and kind of expand and clarify some of the things said here. While I totally agree with a lot of the flaws such as the sidelined subclass, admittedly shoddy worldbuilding, and supposed copying of Azarinth Healer's system( I haven't read that yet but I'll take your word for it). I'd like to clarify on some of the other flaws though. Starting with the Eyeball pulling thing, she actually has a pretty good reason to do so, it is that for one of the skill she gets, it dramatically enhances and quantifies her emotions, leading to a buildup and explosion ( Think of it as exactly like Mob Psycho 100 ). The eyeball pulling thing gets greatly magnified by the emotion of obsession, due to the fact that SpoilerShe is the supposed "other half" of the eyeball witch who is some space-travelling being, and gets a transcendent class evolution from her main class to eyeball witch which drastically increases her ability to eyeball pull and she can use the powers of the creatures they belonged to. Next up is the author's "indecision". I haven't really noticed any point where MC was a "simpleton", more like a little sheltered which she gets over very quickly. The part about her being a genius at swordsmanship, but a mage, is explained by the fact that her entire family for generations have been extremally proficient magic swordsmen, so its kinda expected of her, and the fact that being a mage was forced on her and Spoilerseems to be influenced/fated by the eyeball witch. And although its been a hot minute since I last read a chapter, I can't remember any point where I felt like she could have ended a fight better with another move. I can't say much about the underdeveloped system because I haven't read the other book, so I'll just skip that part. The skill creep part can be easily answered by the fact that a lot of the skills interact with each other and she generally tries to use them all whenever possible. Then there is the worldbuilding part, which I totally agree with because although there are some hints of a much larger world narrative, the current world exists of like five areas and 20 buildings, the rest being ocean or "wilderness". Granted, most of the world is an ocean anyway and there is one very large habitable boat and one loose definition of an island. I also agree that Astrid just seems to be able be in the middle of all the important events but Spoilerthings do seem to be being manipulated from behind the scenes with things like the blob creatures and the eyeball witch who is Astrid's "other half" so fate/destiny may be driving the plot. The character development can be explained by the fact that most characters don't really need it, and some of it having happened but on a smaller scale like when Astrid meets the leviathan in the lower residence, when Johnathan's friend dies, or when Callum SpoilerLeaves the guild with Astrid. Aside from that, a lot of the other characters like Daniel are older and have already had their own character development before the MC was around, or they just haven't had their time yet.In my conclusion, although the author seems pretty new and is wasting some of the potential of the story, they are doing a really good job at entertaining me and the story itself is interesting to read and keeps bringing me back for more.8.75/10everything becomes mid after reading Azarinth Healer imoNot everything, but fighting scenes sure do.can you suggest some? can't find anything new that excites meIs this good? The synopsis intrigued me but I'm already having my hands full with a few novels. I'll pick it up while stacking up chaps for other novels I'm readingThis is really good! It’s similar to Azarinth Healer but instead of hand to hand combat it’s a psychic mageAlthough I'm only at chapter 20, I'm really enjoying this. The characters feel like they have depth, the story and stakes feel good, and the quirky system is hilarious. If you're not a fan of FMC's for whatever reason, that's fine, don't read it, but if you're okay with that I highly recommend this.Update: I'm at 150 now and I can honestly say I'm enjoying more than I was before. The Twists are magnificent and the story just keeps getting better.Alright, I've read to the latest available chapter and now have more to say.I really like all the twists and turns that are going on and the way Astrid's skills are being developed. I'm also a really big fan of the way fighting is portrayed, along with the "magic development and experimentation" which I absolutlutely love in novels(seriously, if you could recommend some really good realistic magic and magical development novel, it would be greatly appreciated). Overall I think this novel is past the point where things could suddenly become really badly written or have a bad direction, so just assume it stays really good otherwise, if not I'll post something(I've been hurt before, looking at you Nanomancer, still holding out hope the author might turn things around and fix the story in that one. I don't need an overly confident female MC who "DoN't NeEd No MaN" but for the love of all, why did Shiro become like a jade beauty from a Wuxia who can't do anything without the MC, 'cmon man). Sorry for ranting a little. Anyway, read this, It's good. back<<
《Psychokinetic Eyeball Pulling》The Newest Chapter
《Psychokinetic Eyeball Pulling》All Section Catalog
- Chapter 1: The [Psychokinetic] Eyeball Puller
- Chapter 2: The First Taste of Blood
- Chapter 3: Canister Go Boom!
- Chapter 4: The Leviathan's Retreat
- Chapter 5: A Dress with Pockets!
- Chapter 6: A Wayfarer's Introduction
- Chapter 7: Down in the Slums
- Chapter 8: Enemies That Lurk
- Chapter 9: The Sight Of Fear
- Chapter 10: Sugar and Battle
- Chapter 11: Monsters Shall Not Pass
- Chapter 12: Second Class Awakening
- Chapter 13: A Spawn With A Cleaver
- Chapter 14: One Too Many Legs
- Chapter 15: Icy Fish Woman?
- Chapter 16: Entry to the Mind
- Chapter 17: Underbelly Subjugation: Complete
- Chapter 18: Levels from the Lich, and Food!
- Chapter 19: The Migrators, and Ice-cream
- Chapter 20: Wayfarer's Exam, Begin!
- Chapter 21: Water and breath.
- Chapter 22: Floating Fire Dog!
- Chapter 23: Fried Chicken.
- Chapter 24: A New World.
- Chapter 25: Ambush, and Danger
- Chapter 26: A Sign of Past Life
- Chapter 27: Evolved Monster
- Chapter 28: The Power of Emotions
- Chapter 29: Mission: Complete
- Chapter 30: Psychic Weaponry
- Chapter 31: The Wayfarer's Pub.
- Chapter 32: The Lich's Equipment
- Chapter 33: The Bubbled Swamp
- Chapter 34: Monsters in the Mist
- Chapter 35: Levitation
- Chapter 36: Unknown Lifeform
- Chapter 37: Liquor, and the Mysterious Entrance.
- Chapter 38: Dungeon
- Chapter 39: Eternal Chains
- Chapter 40: Colosseum
- Chapter 41: Leave or Stay?
- Chapter 42: The Last Meal
- Chapter 43: Friendship
- Chapter 44: Survival, Levels, and Skills!
- Chapter 45: Knife Skills and a Campfire
- Chapter 46: Ambush
- Chapter 47: One Sided Massacre
- Chapter 48: Wall Creation and Bacon
- Chapter 49: Childhood Trauma
- Chapter 50: The Golden Emperors
- Chapter 51: Lost Parents
- Chapter 52: Musical Talent
- Chapter 53: Anger 1/4
- Chapter 54: Anger 2/4
- Chapter 55: Anger 3/4
- Chapter 56: Anger 4/4: Overload
- Chapter 57: The Threat Against HMS Rebirth
- Chapter 58: Experimentation
- Chapter 59: A Dream and Rebuilding
- Chapter 60: Triple Class User
- Chapter 61: Alcohol and Familiar Faces
- Chapter 62: The Brewer's Skills
- Chapter 63: Mission Prep
- Chapter 64: A Little Help
- Chapter 65: The Changing Ring
- Chapter 66: An Invading Nightmare
- Chapter 67: Domination
- Chapter 68: Camp Preparation
- Chapter 69: First Year Combat
- Chapter 70: Civil War
- Chapter 71: All According to Plan
- Chapter 72: World First
- Chapter 73: Voidmare
- Chapter 74: Major Image
- Chapter 75: Pitfall and a Feast
- Chapter 76: Upgrades
- Chapter 77: Sadness
- Chapter 78: Void Jewel
- Chapter 79: Rock Missiles
- Chapter 80: Trial 1/6
- Chapter 81: Trial 2/6
- Chapter 82: Trial 3/6
- Chapter 83: Trial 4/6
- Chapter 84: Trial 5/6
- Chapter 85: Trial 6/6
- Chapter 86: Class Upgrade
- Chapter 87: Pupil
- Chapter 88: Robbery and Blood
- Chapter 89: Death to the Corrupted ( End of Book 1 )
- Chapter 90: Loss and Prayers
- Chapter 91: Kreka the Evolved
- Chapter 92: Homecoming
- Chapter 93: Debrief 1/4
- Chapter 94: Debrief 2/4
- Chapter 95: Debrief 3/4
- Chapter 96: Debrief 4/4
- Chapter 97: An Eavesdropping Attempt
- Chapter 98: A Prelude to War
- Chapter 99: Ghoul In The Old World Pub
- Chapter 100: The Old Pirate King
- Chapter 101: Cai The Tailor
- Chapter 102: The Nightcrawler Scrapper
- Chapter 103: A Hasty Plan
- Chapter 104: Playtime in the Orphanage
- Chapter 105: The Old World
- Chapter 106: Bellona
- Chapter 107: A Gift, and the Anchor Dock
- Chapter 108: New Ship
- Chapter 109: A New Plan For Training
- Chapter 110: Darcey
- Chapter 111: New Armour and Sparring
- Chapter 112: More Sparring and an Idea
- Chapter 113: Voidbent Bones
- Chapter 114: Conjoined Skill
- Chapter 115: Tropical Heat With A Dose Of Eyeball-Pulling
- Chapter 116: Lord Sinwen's Might, and Disappearance
- Chapter 117: Dungeon Prompt
- Chapter 118: Battle of the Mind
- Chapter 119: Primal Jungle
- Chapter 120: Overload: Obsession 1/4
- Chapter 121: Overload: Obsession 2/4
- Chapter 122: Overload: Obsession 3/4
- Chapter 123: Overload: Obsession 4/4
- Chapter 124: Meeting the Great No-Eyed One
- Chapter 125: Delving into the Great No-Eyed One's Mind
- Chapter 126: The Eye-Queen
- Chapter 127: Prelude to War
- Chapter 128: Emergence of an Evolution Stone
- Chapter 129: War ( + Announcement )
- Chapter 130: Extra Dungeon Mission
- Chapter 131: Attack of the Brain Mole
- Chapter 132: Tree Ent Warriors and Moving Walls
- Chapter 133: Unbreakable Walls
- Chapter 134: Murder Fluffs and Zombies
- Chapter 135: Skill Evolutions
- Chapter 136: The Final Battle to Advancement
- Chapter 137: Level 100 Class Evolution
- Chapter 138: Skill Selection
- Chapter 139: Eyeball Extraction
- Chapter 140: The Coldness of a Born Assassin
- Chapter 141: Ice Blood
- Chapter 142: Berserking Demon Ent
- Chapter 143: Blinking Repostition
- Chapter 144: Battle of the Domains
- Chapter 145: Monarch Altering Fungus
- Chapter 146: The Oculus Witch's Entrance
- Chapter 147: Ape King
- Chapter 148: Exchanged Words
- Chapter 149: Birth of the Evolution Stone
- Chapter 150: Obtaining the Evolution Stone
- Chapter 151: The Evolution Stones Disappearance
- Chapter 152: Interference, and the Eye-Queen Trials
- Chapter 153: 1000 Intelligence, and Disappointment
- Chapter 154: A Noble Discovery
- Chapter 155: Approval
- Chapter 156: Avemoth
- Chapter 157: Battle: Avemoth
- Chapter 158: Inheritance
- Chapter 159: Soul Attack
- Chapter 160: Testing
- Chapter 161: Robes of Zephyrion
- Chapter 162: The Fight Continues
- Chapter 163: Intelligent Choices
- Chapter 164: Eyes of a Primal Moth + Announcement
- Chapter 165: Farewell, Eyamos
- Chapter 166: Role Reversal
- Chapter 167: Mount Hullbeck
- Announcement - New Story
- Chapter 168: The Lost Arc
- Chapter 169: Steilgam Glass
- Chapter 170: Living Metal
- Chapter 171: Danger at Home
- Chapter 172: Occupied Arc
- Chapter 173: Lerolap
- Chapter 174: Ragan
- Chapter 175: Source of Corruption
- Chapter 176: Cure
- Chapter 177: Overload: Loneliness
- Chapter 178: Overload: Loneliness 2/3
- Chapter 179: Overload: Loneliness 3/3 + mini announcement
- Chapter 180: Returned
- Chapter 181: Pressing Matters
- Chapter 182: Corruption Destroyer
- Chapter 183: Explosion Tyrant
- Chapter 184: Disintegration Stage 2
- Chapter 185: Earl Kamron
- Chapter 186: Mind Assault
- Chapter 187: Undercurrents
- Chapter 188: Back to the Underbelly
- Chapter 189: A Plan
- Chapter 190: Blinking Bodyguards
- Chapter 191: The Great Migrators
- Chapter 192: Stage 4 Upgrade
- Chapter 193: Spilled Blood
- Chapter 194: The Great Sinwen Armoury
- Chapter 195: Seed of War
- Chapter 196: City Apocrypha
- Chapter 197: Ape Tyrant
- Chapter 198: A Bad Feeling
- Chapter 199: Attack of the Shadow Monsters
- Chapter 200: Shadow Dimensioner
- Chapter 201: Collecting Eyes
- Chapter 202: Tower of Dimensioners
- Chapter 203: Retreat
- Chapter 204: Rumours of the Greatest Pirate King
- Chapter 205: Reentering the Eye-Queen Trials
- Chapter 206: Lord Darian
- Chapter 207: Ixtalian Attack
- Chapter 208: Deletion
- Chapter 209: Ixtalian Construct + Announcement!
- Chapter 210: Seed of War Awakens
- Chapter 211: Overload: Courage 1/7
- Chapter 212: Overload: Courage 2/7
- Chapter 213: Overload: Courage 3/7
- Chapter 214: Overload: Courage 4/7
- Chapter 215: Overload: Courage 5/7
- Chapter 216: Overload: Courage 6/7
- Announcement!
- Chapter 217: Overload: Courage 7/7
- Chapter 218: One Man Army
- Chapter 219: Monstrous Mana
- Chapter 220: Dance of Monsters
- Chapter 221: Set of the Monstrous Tyrant
- Chapter 222: No
- Chapter 223: Internal Engine
- Chapter 224: Slayer
- Chapter 225: Leviathan's Resurgence
- Chapter 226: Leviathan's Offspring
- Chaper 227 - A Familiar Sight
- Chapter 228: Lord of Thunder
- Chapter 229
- Chapter 230
- Chapter 231:
- Chapter 232
- Chapter 233:
- Chapter 234:
- Chapter 235:
- Chapter 236
- Chapter 237
- Chapter 238
- Eyeball Book 2 Announcement!
- Chapter 239: ( Webtoon Announcement )
- Chapter 240:
- Chapter 241
- Chapter 242
- Chapter 244
- Chapter 255
- Chapter 246
- Chapter 247
- Chapter 248
- Chpter 249
- Chapter 250
- Chapter 251
- Chapter 252
- Thoughts on [Psychokinetic] Eyeball Pulling
- New story out now on Royal Road!